RESIDENTS OF BOSTON REACTED with anger today to a report published by scientists that found the greater your weight, the lower your IQ, or intelligence.
The study linked being greatly overweight as leading to stupidity, and the light and nimble Smallvanians were quick to use it as propaganda against their big toy rivals in Boston, nicknamed 'Bigvania' by patriotic Smallvanians. The study was greeted with the most joy by entrepreneur and wannabe comedian Barry Bramble, known for his unfunny jokes about how stupid 'Bigvanians' are.
'How many Bigvanians does it take to change a lightbulb?' laughed the hedgehog to our reporter. 'One - to go and ask a Smallvanian to change it because they don't know how to!'
In the ensuing silence, several Bostonians came to defend themselves. 'Just because I like eating honey and am overweight doesn't affect how clever I am! I have been the longest serving Mayor in Toyland history, have I not?' said Mayor Winnie the Pooh.
When asked what he thought of the study, Ducky said he did not have a fat bottom and would take the Toyland Express to court if it said he did. 'Anyway I am clever, don't you remember when Lizzie taught me to read?' he (or she?) added. Prince Simba, the heir to the Bostonian throne, also declined to comment. Penny Penguin, the royal butler, hooted that he was too busy eating and playing computer games.
King Cheeky himself was eager to have the final word - 'Obviously Smallvanians have the smallest brains! Because they are smaller!'
It remains to be seem how long this argument will continue between the big toys and the small toys.
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