TOYLAND WAS ROCKED TODAY by howling winds, dark clouds and strange events scaring even the land's most fearless characters.
It started this morning when items in the House of Bramble Department Store cafe fell over without anyone touching them. Witness Monsieur Meow, the French chef, said, 'Eet waz abzolutely terrible, zee whole room was shaking and err we did not know why! Zee sundaes made an awful mess on zee floor! Zut alors! Il etait vraiment effrayant'. M. Meow was clearly so terrified that he couldn't bring himself to finish his sentence in English.
The owner of the cafe, Barry Bramble, was skeptical. 'What do you mean ghosts? It's absolute nonsense, where I grew up in Wolverhampton things were always falling over without touching them, but that might have just been things falling apart. That's all I've got to say about that. Ooh it's suddenly gone very cold I ought to go and put on a thicker pair of yellow dungarees!'
King Chris tried to calm his people down. 'I'm not afraid of anything. That cafe nonsense was down to Hurricane Julie, the cleaner who always knocks over toys when she comes! Where did this ghost business come from?' We then told Chris that Julie didn't come today because she had to take Abbi to the wart clinic. 'What? Julie wasn't here? Eeeeeek!' The King's voice then went very high pitched as his brown furry face went pale.
Just across the road on Sunshine Avenue, the Hatton Farm Village was also said by some to be haunted. Mrs Dalmation was taking the Sylvanian nursey children on a class trip to the petting farm when she popped into the gift shop to buy some pumpkin pie. 'I just felt something strange, like there was someone else in the shop with me who I couldn't see... Then when I got back into the coach and sat down, I felt someone tugging on my spotty ears, which the children sometimes like to do. When I turned round to see who it was though there was no-one there! Just baby Freya sleeping away.' This raises the question of whether Toyland is being haunted by ghosts!
In Boston, toys took a more light hearted approach to Hallowe'en. Marissa Cooper is from California, USA, where Hallowe'en is a highly profitable day of the year. 'Oh yes I am going trick or treating tonight! I'm going to knock on all the doors in Toyland and ask for candy! That shouldn't take long!' Marissa then showed us her costume. She will be going as Marie Antoinette, the French queen who had her head chopped off and is now the subject of a new Hollywood film. 'Because I am like a movie star!' Marissa beamed. 'We will also be carving Jack-o-Lanterns [pumpkins - ed]! Marissa's friend Sabrina Spellman loves Hallowe'en even more that her cool California college friend.
'I am going as a black cat!' she announced, to no-one's surprise. Sabrina's dress has black cats on it. 'I will also be doing magic spells! So watch out!'
Even King Cheeky has been getting into the spirit (hee hee!) of things. 'Have you noticed how its suddenly getting all dark in the middle of the day? I don't think that's just coincidence! Also yesterday all of the clocks in Toyland suddenly went wrong! We were told they had gone an hour too fast! I say, there've been strange, strange goings on in Toyland!'
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Land of Old Toys rocked by autumn tidy up
THE LAND OF OLD TOYS was shuddering tonight after a whirlwind of tidying up hit right into the centre of the boxes and baskets in which old toys Emily no longer plays with sit.
Heartlessly, Emily's mum rounded up many soft toys into a big plastic bag, which experts predict is to be sent to a second hand sale. Toys waited anxiously to hear their fate as they were lifted up and Emily offered a firm 'yes' or 'no' answer.
Toys being banished altogether from all Toyland include Rosie, the ragdoll infamous for bullying Marissa before her ascent into popularity, a McDonald's Mr Bump toy, Little Fluff Bun, and a tiger who never even got a name.
The most controversial choice so far are the twin bunny glove puppets, which are nineteen years old, having been bought for Emily's eldest brother when he was two years old. One of the bunnies was in fact second hand itself, though nowadays indistinguishable from his newer brother. It remains to be seen whether these Toyland veterans will indeed be thrown out.
Toys surviving the events include Dr Flixy and Spanish Bull.
The Toyland Express is against any plans to throw out any toys, and those who cannot be saved will be sorely missed.
Heartlessly, Emily's mum rounded up many soft toys into a big plastic bag, which experts predict is to be sent to a second hand sale. Toys waited anxiously to hear their fate as they were lifted up and Emily offered a firm 'yes' or 'no' answer.
Toys being banished altogether from all Toyland include Rosie, the ragdoll infamous for bullying Marissa before her ascent into popularity, a McDonald's Mr Bump toy, Little Fluff Bun, and a tiger who never even got a name.
The most controversial choice so far are the twin bunny glove puppets, which are nineteen years old, having been bought for Emily's eldest brother when he was two years old. One of the bunnies was in fact second hand itself, though nowadays indistinguishable from his newer brother. It remains to be seen whether these Toyland veterans will indeed be thrown out.
Toys surviving the events include Dr Flixy and Spanish Bull.
The Toyland Express is against any plans to throw out any toys, and those who cannot be saved will be sorely missed.
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
King Cheeky misses good old days
KING CHEEKY OF BOSTON made a revealing comment yesterday to the big toys of Toyland when he said he 'misses the good old days'.
Cheeky has had a difficult time over the last year, and while on a jog around Toyland yesterday he spotted a Toyland Express reporter. Jogging over at the lightening fast speed one expects of a cheetah, the King said hello. He was dressed in his beautiful royal red velvet robe, estimated by experts as the most valuable piece of all toy clothing.
'I say, I always come out for a run, it's important to stay fit. It also doesn't cost any money,' said the notoriously mean king. 'What's that you've written there?' he then pointed to the journalist's notepad. 'Mean? Mean? I say I'm not mean!'
'Ever since Chris Steakface took over half of Toyland and named it Smallvania, I've become the bad guy. Wasn't it better when I was king of all Toyland? I never even get to sleep in Emily's bed any more, and toys are always complaining about taxes in Boston.'
The spotted king was forced out of his castle in August by a peaceful coup in which the small toys demanded to be ruled by fellow small toys, and thus created an independent 'Smallvanian' state. Since then King Chris and Queen Spurry have been voted the best rulers of Toyland ever. King Cheeky and Queen Nala came second, which is the same as last place, when the vote was announced some weeks ago.
King Cheeky is the oldest of the royal family of Boston, which consists of himself, Queen Nala (a lioness), their son Prince Simba (a lion) and daugher Princess Carly (a cheetah). Cheeky turned three human years old on August 1st of this year, and in toy years is somewhere in his sixties. King Chris of Smallvania, meanwhile, is a youthful forty-two.
When asked what the best moment of his life as a young, excitable cheetah with a cute purr, Cheeky said it was the time Emily fed him lemonade in Spain.
Pictured: Cheeky enjoying lemonade in TGI Friday's in Spain in March 2004. He was just eight human months old.
At this point Marissa Cooper bounded past and invited everyone to her house for fruit smoothies and cheered everyone up. Even old King Cheeky gave a little smile, especially when told the smoothies were free.
Cheeky has had a difficult time over the last year, and while on a jog around Toyland yesterday he spotted a Toyland Express reporter. Jogging over at the lightening fast speed one expects of a cheetah, the King said hello. He was dressed in his beautiful royal red velvet robe, estimated by experts as the most valuable piece of all toy clothing.
'I say, I always come out for a run, it's important to stay fit. It also doesn't cost any money,' said the notoriously mean king. 'What's that you've written there?' he then pointed to the journalist's notepad. 'Mean? Mean? I say I'm not mean!'
'Ever since Chris Steakface took over half of Toyland and named it Smallvania, I've become the bad guy. Wasn't it better when I was king of all Toyland? I never even get to sleep in Emily's bed any more, and toys are always complaining about taxes in Boston.'
The spotted king was forced out of his castle in August by a peaceful coup in which the small toys demanded to be ruled by fellow small toys, and thus created an independent 'Smallvanian' state. Since then King Chris and Queen Spurry have been voted the best rulers of Toyland ever. King Cheeky and Queen Nala came second, which is the same as last place, when the vote was announced some weeks ago.
King Cheeky is the oldest of the royal family of Boston, which consists of himself, Queen Nala (a lioness), their son Prince Simba (a lion) and daugher Princess Carly (a cheetah). Cheeky turned three human years old on August 1st of this year, and in toy years is somewhere in his sixties. King Chris of Smallvania, meanwhile, is a youthful forty-two.
When asked what the best moment of his life as a young, excitable cheetah with a cute purr, Cheeky said it was the time Emily fed him lemonade in Spain.
Pictured: Cheeky enjoying lemonade in TGI Friday's in Spain in March 2004. He was just eight human months old.
At this point Marissa Cooper bounded past and invited everyone to her house for fruit smoothies and cheered everyone up. Even old King Cheeky gave a little smile, especially when told the smoothies were free.
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Ducky gets new slippers
DUCKY IS RELAXING IN A PAIR of new, luxury slippers bought for him during his trip to Granny and Granda's house with Emily. The Build-a-Bear accessories are the latest in a long line of clothes to be bought for the fashionable Bostonian duck. The posh looking slippers were paid for by Emily's grandparents.
'They are absolutely lovely,' said Ducky, sipping a cup of extra strong Boston harbour tea. 'Thank you so much Emily!'
Thus Ducky becomes historically the first toy to have a pair of slippers. King Cheeky welcomed the news, telling Smallvanians 'Look, in Boston we have slippers! And extra strong tea!'
Ducky is two years old.
'They are absolutely lovely,' said Ducky, sipping a cup of extra strong Boston harbour tea. 'Thank you so much Emily!'
Thus Ducky becomes historically the first toy to have a pair of slippers. King Cheeky welcomed the news, telling Smallvanians 'Look, in Boston we have slippers! And extra strong tea!'
Ducky is two years old.
Friday, October 20, 2006
Mystery of the flying coin
Toyland residents were in confusion yesterday when Emma Bramble, the seven year old daughter of Smallvanian entrepreneur Barry Bramble, claimed she saw a £1 'fly across the room'.
The incident began when Mrs Liz Bramble left two pound coins on the table in their family home. When one of them went missing, Liz found it on the floor underneath Emma's chair. At this point Emma said the coin got there by magically flying from the table.
Jonathan Bramble was not convinced though. 'She obviously just took the coin. Coins can't fly! I keep all my coins in a safe in my bedroom.'
Emma Bramble then got very cross and insisted the coin did indeed fly and she had nothing to do with it. Elmo has started an investigation and has questioned Toyland residents Sabrina Spellman and the Lego fairy, asking them if they used magic to move the coin as a practical joke.
The case continues.
TE
In other news
Topless photo of Ducky published
The incident began when Mrs Liz Bramble left two pound coins on the table in their family home. When one of them went missing, Liz found it on the floor underneath Emma's chair. At this point Emma said the coin got there by magically flying from the table.
Jonathan Bramble was not convinced though. 'She obviously just took the coin. Coins can't fly! I keep all my coins in a safe in my bedroom.'
Emma Bramble then got very cross and insisted the coin did indeed fly and she had nothing to do with it. Elmo has started an investigation and has questioned Toyland residents Sabrina Spellman and the Lego fairy, asking them if they used magic to move the coin as a practical joke.
The case continues.
TE
In other news
Topless photo of Ducky published
Excitement mounts for trip to Granny's house
TOYS ARE CURRENTLY WAITING EXCITEDLY to know if they are to be taken to visit Granny's house tomorrow when Emily goes to visit her grandparents. The short trip will last a few days of half term and already Queen Spurry and King Chris have been speculating about which toys will be taken.
'I expect I should be taken, and of course with my wife,' said Chris, patting Spurry on the head. 'The problem is of course sometimes Emily doesn't take small toys on trips like these in case we get lost. What do you think, Spurry? Spurry? Where are you?'
Spurry quickly returned with a baking hot tray of homemade blueberry muffins, and explained her thoughts. 'I think the only toys which will certainly be going are Ducky and Shawly - they are bed toys and have an automatic advantage.' Ducky and Shawly have slept in Emily's bed every night of Emily's life unless she was on holiday in which case Ducky stayed at home, because of his size.
Ducky is very excited about the prospect of going to Granny's house, to drink cups of Rington's tea and be there to cuddle Emily after she has got back from a trip to Ikea or a walk in the park.
'I'm so excited!' quacked the Bostonian Bear Factory duck.
Pictured: A young, naked Ducky in Granny's house in February 2005.
'But I'll be wearing clothes this time!' he added, showing off his new Hello Kitty pants. Ducky is two years old.
Past toys to visit Granny's house have included Edd the Duck, Peter Wizard, King Cheeky and Marissa Cooper. Other toys which have never been are keeping their fingers crossed for this time - including Canada Jack, the new arrival the Hungry Lion, and Prince Stephen, son of King Chris and Queen Spurry.
TE
'I expect I should be taken, and of course with my wife,' said Chris, patting Spurry on the head. 'The problem is of course sometimes Emily doesn't take small toys on trips like these in case we get lost. What do you think, Spurry? Spurry? Where are you?'
Spurry quickly returned with a baking hot tray of homemade blueberry muffins, and explained her thoughts. 'I think the only toys which will certainly be going are Ducky and Shawly - they are bed toys and have an automatic advantage.' Ducky and Shawly have slept in Emily's bed every night of Emily's life unless she was on holiday in which case Ducky stayed at home, because of his size.
Ducky is very excited about the prospect of going to Granny's house, to drink cups of Rington's tea and be there to cuddle Emily after she has got back from a trip to Ikea or a walk in the park.
'I'm so excited!' quacked the Bostonian Bear Factory duck.
Pictured: A young, naked Ducky in Granny's house in February 2005.
'But I'll be wearing clothes this time!' he added, showing off his new Hello Kitty pants. Ducky is two years old.
Past toys to visit Granny's house have included Edd the Duck, Peter Wizard, King Cheeky and Marissa Cooper. Other toys which have never been are keeping their fingers crossed for this time - including Canada Jack, the new arrival the Hungry Lion, and Prince Stephen, son of King Chris and Queen Spurry.
TE
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Toyland postman delivers opinion
RYAN ATWOOD, the pin-up postman who delivers letters for all of Toyland, has said for the first time that he was 'very sad' when the Toyland Post Office closed.
The Post Office, which he worked in with his partner Nazzy Star, was closed and converted into a library, which can now be found in Smallvania Square. However Ryan, famous for his brown satchel, smart shirts and sunkissed hair, said today that Toyland needed a Post Office back.
'King Chris isn't doing enough to help the postal service. Has anyone noticed how people are not getting letters or parcels as fast anymore? It's all very well saying you can just use e-mail but it's nowhere near as good!' said Ryan while taking a tea break outside the dolls' house. 'Anyway none of the Sylvanian Families have a computer - not even the Kings and Queens of Toyland have computers.'
Ryan handed out leaflets and stickers with a heart logo for his campaign, which has been taken to the Prime Minister in London.
The Post Office, which he worked in with his partner Nazzy Star, was closed and converted into a library, which can now be found in Smallvania Square. However Ryan, famous for his brown satchel, smart shirts and sunkissed hair, said today that Toyland needed a Post Office back.
'King Chris isn't doing enough to help the postal service. Has anyone noticed how people are not getting letters or parcels as fast anymore? It's all very well saying you can just use e-mail but it's nowhere near as good!' said Ryan while taking a tea break outside the dolls' house. 'Anyway none of the Sylvanian Families have a computer - not even the Kings and Queens of Toyland have computers.'
Ryan handed out leaflets and stickers with a heart logo for his campaign, which has been taken to the Prime Minister in London.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
The heavier the stupider?
RESIDENTS OF BOSTON REACTED with anger today to a report published by scientists that found the greater your weight, the lower your IQ, or intelligence.
The study linked being greatly overweight as leading to stupidity, and the light and nimble Smallvanians were quick to use it as propaganda against their big toy rivals in Boston, nicknamed 'Bigvania' by patriotic Smallvanians. The study was greeted with the most joy by entrepreneur and wannabe comedian Barry Bramble, known for his unfunny jokes about how stupid 'Bigvanians' are.
'How many Bigvanians does it take to change a lightbulb?' laughed the hedgehog to our reporter. 'One - to go and ask a Smallvanian to change it because they don't know how to!'
In the ensuing silence, several Bostonians came to defend themselves. 'Just because I like eating honey and am overweight doesn't affect how clever I am! I have been the longest serving Mayor in Toyland history, have I not?' said Mayor Winnie the Pooh.
When asked what he thought of the study, Ducky said he did not have a fat bottom and would take the Toyland Express to court if it said he did. 'Anyway I am clever, don't you remember when Lizzie taught me to read?' he (or she?) added. Prince Simba, the heir to the Bostonian throne, also declined to comment. Penny Penguin, the royal butler, hooted that he was too busy eating and playing computer games.
King Cheeky himself was eager to have the final word - 'Obviously Smallvanians have the smallest brains! Because they are smaller!'
It remains to be seem how long this argument will continue between the big toys and the small toys.
The study linked being greatly overweight as leading to stupidity, and the light and nimble Smallvanians were quick to use it as propaganda against their big toy rivals in Boston, nicknamed 'Bigvania' by patriotic Smallvanians. The study was greeted with the most joy by entrepreneur and wannabe comedian Barry Bramble, known for his unfunny jokes about how stupid 'Bigvanians' are.
'How many Bigvanians does it take to change a lightbulb?' laughed the hedgehog to our reporter. 'One - to go and ask a Smallvanian to change it because they don't know how to!'
In the ensuing silence, several Bostonians came to defend themselves. 'Just because I like eating honey and am overweight doesn't affect how clever I am! I have been the longest serving Mayor in Toyland history, have I not?' said Mayor Winnie the Pooh.
When asked what he thought of the study, Ducky said he did not have a fat bottom and would take the Toyland Express to court if it said he did. 'Anyway I am clever, don't you remember when Lizzie taught me to read?' he (or she?) added. Prince Simba, the heir to the Bostonian throne, also declined to comment. Penny Penguin, the royal butler, hooted that he was too busy eating and playing computer games.
King Cheeky himself was eager to have the final word - 'Obviously Smallvanians have the smallest brains! Because they are smaller!'
It remains to be seem how long this argument will continue between the big toys and the small toys.
Marissa Souper
BOSTONIAN SOCIALITE Marissa Cooper, famous for her excessive wealth, yesterday volunteered at a local soup kitchen. There she served hot soup to the homeless, in the kitchen which is situated in the Land of Old Toys, the unfortunate final home for toys which Emily is no longer interested in.
Beaming with a smile, Marissa, an eighteen year old university student, said 'It's great to give something back and help those who have had a harder time in our society. Hot tomato soup is something us toys often take for granted.' She served toys including the bunny glove puppets, twins who found success in the late 1980s and 1990s being played with by Emily's brothers. Since then, they have been neglected and left in the company of countless old toys, which are mostly babyish or from McDonald's.
'Some of these toys come to me for soup and they still smell of greasy burgers from when they arrived in a Happy Meal,' sighed Marissa. 'Mmmm burgers!' she added.
Some toys were less than impressed at Marissa's self-righteousness. As she sped off in her blue convertible back to her student room in Boston, a blonde haired girl wearing a red dress with a cat on told us 'Marissa is just copying me, I've worked here for months and I've never had a newspaper article written about me.'. The girl was exactly the same height as Marissa and smiled just as much, but refused to be named.
Related stories
Marissa's 'Canada Jack' campaign still largely without success.
Marissa apologises that lost purse was in her pocket all along.
TE
Beaming with a smile, Marissa, an eighteen year old university student, said 'It's great to give something back and help those who have had a harder time in our society. Hot tomato soup is something us toys often take for granted.' She served toys including the bunny glove puppets, twins who found success in the late 1980s and 1990s being played with by Emily's brothers. Since then, they have been neglected and left in the company of countless old toys, which are mostly babyish or from McDonald's.
'Some of these toys come to me for soup and they still smell of greasy burgers from when they arrived in a Happy Meal,' sighed Marissa. 'Mmmm burgers!' she added.
Some toys were less than impressed at Marissa's self-righteousness. As she sped off in her blue convertible back to her student room in Boston, a blonde haired girl wearing a red dress with a cat on told us 'Marissa is just copying me, I've worked here for months and I've never had a newspaper article written about me.'. The girl was exactly the same height as Marissa and smiled just as much, but refused to be named.
Related stories
Marissa's 'Canada Jack' campaign still largely without success.
Marissa apologises that lost purse was in her pocket all along.
TE
Friday, October 13, 2006
New world record in conker collecting set
QUEEN SPURRY of Smallvania today reached a new world record for conker collection by a toy. She collected one hundred conkers and piled them up in the castle, beating the previous record set by Sam the Squirrel of twelve and a half conkers. Sam's record was often questioned however, as people wondered why he collected half a conker instead of a whole one.
Controversy has already surrounded Queen Spurry however after it was revealed she told her husband King Chris she was feeling sick so that she could have the day off from her work as Queen.
'She just used the time to go collecting conkers!' said an enraged Smallvanian resident, Canada Jack. 'It's not what we pay our taxes for. But I do like Spurry she makes marvellous muffins.'
The Queen quickly hit back at the allegations however. 'Oi! I really was sick. Did you smell that bucket? Anyway today I collected 94 conkers which added to my previous collection of six puts me well in the lead of the world's biggest conker collection owned by a toy.'
'I'm so proud of her,' said King Chris. 'Especially considering each conker is about the size of her whole body! She's got the strength of a dung beetle, though she isn't as smelly! I love you Spurry.'
'I love you too Chris' squeaked the Queen, before a passionate embrace.
TE
Controversy has already surrounded Queen Spurry however after it was revealed she told her husband King Chris she was feeling sick so that she could have the day off from her work as Queen.
'She just used the time to go collecting conkers!' said an enraged Smallvanian resident, Canada Jack. 'It's not what we pay our taxes for. But I do like Spurry she makes marvellous muffins.'
The Queen quickly hit back at the allegations however. 'Oi! I really was sick. Did you smell that bucket? Anyway today I collected 94 conkers which added to my previous collection of six puts me well in the lead of the world's biggest conker collection owned by a toy.'
'I'm so proud of her,' said King Chris. 'Especially considering each conker is about the size of her whole body! She's got the strength of a dung beetle, though she isn't as smelly! I love you Spurry.'
'I love you too Chris' squeaked the Queen, before a passionate embrace.
TE
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Christmas must haves unveiled!
It may seem like Summer has barely ended, but there are only 75 days until Christmas! Or only 73 shopping days, according to local entrepreneur Barry Bramble, who is reputed to be seeking to let King Chris allow shops to be open over Christmas Day and Boxing Day too.
That means there is less and less time to start your Christmas shopping! Toyland was reminded of that fact yesterday when Bramble Enterprises unveiled its Christmas toy selection at the National Christmas Convention at the NEC, held between 12th and 14th of October every year. The Smallvanian toyshop in the Barry Bramble Department Store will be stocking up on the items Barry thinks every child will have on their Christmas list.
Toys have come a long way since the 1520s, when children used to be content with a ball of wool and a tissue to protect them against the plague. The toys on show yesterday were very hi-tech, and predictive of what may be moving to Toyland come December 25th!
Toys on show included the new, new, new Tamagotchi, a pocket virtual pet which periodically goes to the toilet and gets ill. Speculation is mounting as to whether Emily will want to buy a new Tamagotchi, which would be her fourth! Also included was the Tickle Me Elmo toy, based on the red monster from Sesame Street.
Video: Tickle Me Elmo in action at the NEC
Smallvanian policemen Elmo had this to say on the laughing and wriggling version of himself about to go on sale: 'Elmo says stop! Stop tickling me! Ahahahahaha! Hee hee!' When we stopped tickling him he told us to stop wasting police time.
Also expected to be a hit this Christmas is a new Jellycat doll, to be a friend for fellow Jellycats Marissa, Sabrina and Lizzie. Sabrina was in fact a Christmas present last year, and has since found success in Toyland as an alternative doctor to Dr Flixy (Flixotide Teddy), and healthy eating campaigner. Marissa and Sabrina both study at Harvard University. 'I'd just absolutely love to have another Jellycat pal here in Toyland!' said Marissa, with a beaming smile, whilst munching on a candy cane. Her friend Sabrina agreed, though she was munching on a celery stick.
The exhibition also showcased Build-a-Bear clothes for Ducky, various Sylvanian houses and characters, and an assortment of apples, clementines and £1 coins. 'The £1 coin is always a hit in the stocking,' said Barry Bramble, showing he had a pocket full of them.
It just remains until December 25th to see which of these many toys Santa Claus may deliver to Emily, if she has been nice not naughty!
TE
That means there is less and less time to start your Christmas shopping! Toyland was reminded of that fact yesterday when Bramble Enterprises unveiled its Christmas toy selection at the National Christmas Convention at the NEC, held between 12th and 14th of October every year. The Smallvanian toyshop in the Barry Bramble Department Store will be stocking up on the items Barry thinks every child will have on their Christmas list.
Toys have come a long way since the 1520s, when children used to be content with a ball of wool and a tissue to protect them against the plague. The toys on show yesterday were very hi-tech, and predictive of what may be moving to Toyland come December 25th!
Toys on show included the new, new, new Tamagotchi, a pocket virtual pet which periodically goes to the toilet and gets ill. Speculation is mounting as to whether Emily will want to buy a new Tamagotchi, which would be her fourth! Also included was the Tickle Me Elmo toy, based on the red monster from Sesame Street.
Video: Tickle Me Elmo in action at the NEC
Smallvanian policemen Elmo had this to say on the laughing and wriggling version of himself about to go on sale: 'Elmo says stop! Stop tickling me! Ahahahahaha! Hee hee!' When we stopped tickling him he told us to stop wasting police time.
Also expected to be a hit this Christmas is a new Jellycat doll, to be a friend for fellow Jellycats Marissa, Sabrina and Lizzie. Sabrina was in fact a Christmas present last year, and has since found success in Toyland as an alternative doctor to Dr Flixy (Flixotide Teddy), and healthy eating campaigner. Marissa and Sabrina both study at Harvard University. 'I'd just absolutely love to have another Jellycat pal here in Toyland!' said Marissa, with a beaming smile, whilst munching on a candy cane. Her friend Sabrina agreed, though she was munching on a celery stick.
The exhibition also showcased Build-a-Bear clothes for Ducky, various Sylvanian houses and characters, and an assortment of apples, clementines and £1 coins. 'The £1 coin is always a hit in the stocking,' said Barry Bramble, showing he had a pocket full of them.
It just remains until December 25th to see which of these many toys Santa Claus may deliver to Emily, if she has been nice not naughty!
TE
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Special Offer: Bramble Tour DVD
Here is a preview of Barry Bramble's Tour of Smallvania, now avaiable on DVD on mail order from the Toyland Express! Just 20p plus seventeen numbered tokens collected from promotional packs of Toy-Os, the candy floss flavoured breakfast cereal.
Sunday, October 08, 2006
Marissa Cooper: Blog
Hey guys, well this is the first installment of the blog I am writing for the Toyland Express. I've just finished my first week at Harvard University in Boston, studying history, and I returned to visit my sister Lizzie this weekend in my house in Toyland!
I have eaten pasta every day of the week, which is a quick and simple recipe and a healthy alternative to tinned meals! I have to cook for myself, though sometimes my flatmate Sabrina cooks for me! She is vegetarian. I share my kitchen with all the people on my floor, which is about 347 people. It's not so bad. For some reason we all cook at different times and it never gets too crowded around the one cooker.
This week my plans are to do lots of work, and we have a burgers and milkshakes party this week which is great because I'm American! I think I'll fit in very well! I am also going to join a singing club, as my singing is often remarked upon by Sabrina when I'm in the shower! She is alwyas shouting at me about how good I am, though I can't completely hear what she is saying because of all the water!
I'll report back to you guys soon! In the mean time, keep checking the Toyland Express!
Marissa xoxo
I have eaten pasta every day of the week, which is a quick and simple recipe and a healthy alternative to tinned meals! I have to cook for myself, though sometimes my flatmate Sabrina cooks for me! She is vegetarian. I share my kitchen with all the people on my floor, which is about 347 people. It's not so bad. For some reason we all cook at different times and it never gets too crowded around the one cooker.
This week my plans are to do lots of work, and we have a burgers and milkshakes party this week which is great because I'm American! I think I'll fit in very well! I am also going to join a singing club, as my singing is often remarked upon by Sabrina when I'm in the shower! She is alwyas shouting at me about how good I am, though I can't completely hear what she is saying because of all the water!
I'll report back to you guys soon! In the mean time, keep checking the Toyland Express!
Marissa xoxo
Friday, October 06, 2006
Mum's birthday tomorrow!
RESIDENTS OF Toyland must remember that tomorrow is Emily's Mummy's birthday, and should be prepared to celebrate accordingly.
'I shudder to imagine,' said Shawly, a veteran of eighteen such birthdays dating back to 1988, 'what would happen if anyone forgot. The results would be catastrophic.' Shawly has written a book on the subject, Worst Case Scenario: Forgetting Birthdays, available from Toyland Express Books for £6.99 plus £70 postage and packing.
The birthday looks set to be a success however, with dinner reservations booked for seven o'clock in the evening, and Emily's two university student brothers returning home for the night.
Local birthday singer Ducky Mallard is fully booked for performances on both days this weekend, with Granny CB's birthday tomorrow. 'This time of year is always profitable, with Daddy's birthday just next month! I'm so excited! Quack!' Ducky is two years old.
TE
'I shudder to imagine,' said Shawly, a veteran of eighteen such birthdays dating back to 1988, 'what would happen if anyone forgot. The results would be catastrophic.' Shawly has written a book on the subject, Worst Case Scenario: Forgetting Birthdays, available from Toyland Express Books for £6.99 plus £70 postage and packing.
The birthday looks set to be a success however, with dinner reservations booked for seven o'clock in the evening, and Emily's two university student brothers returning home for the night.
Local birthday singer Ducky Mallard is fully booked for performances on both days this weekend, with Granny CB's birthday tomorrow. 'This time of year is always profitable, with Daddy's birthday just next month! I'm so excited! Quack!' Ducky is two years old.
TE
Express unveils logo
The Toyland Express today unveiled its new logo, replacing the 'outdated' logo, which didn't exist, which was invented in 1975. Newspaper editors reacted with a mixture of shock and admiration. Said one editor of a rival newspaper, The Toytown Star, 'It looks like its been made by a child.'
However Express writers remained adament that the new logo reflected a modern and exciting newspaper. The logo, pictured below, shows Smallvanian resident Peter Wizard carrying a sword, with his trousers and beard on back to front, and wearing a cape. In his other hand, Peter carries a wine glass. 'It symbolises the most important things to our newspaper - fighting for the truth, getting things right, and drinking wine.'
The new Toyland Express logo.
However Express writers remained adament that the new logo reflected a modern and exciting newspaper. The logo, pictured below, shows Smallvanian resident Peter Wizard carrying a sword, with his trousers and beard on back to front, and wearing a cape. In his other hand, Peter carries a wine glass. 'It symbolises the most important things to our newspaper - fighting for the truth, getting things right, and drinking wine.'
The new Toyland Express logo.
The Toyland Express
This is the first article in the newly online Toyland Express, the most widely circulated newspaper of Toyland, England, serving both Smallvania, the small toy province, and Boston, the land of the big toys.
The Toyland Express is an impartial, quality newspaper reflecting the views of the average Toyland citizen, with reporters in every facet of Toyland life and outside, from the Smallvania Castle to neighbouring schools and universities.
Each article can be commented on and viewed anywhere in the world!
TE
The Toyland Express is an impartial, quality newspaper reflecting the views of the average Toyland citizen, with reporters in every facet of Toyland life and outside, from the Smallvania Castle to neighbouring schools and universities.
Each article can be commented on and viewed anywhere in the world!
TE
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