Bratz beat Barbie in plastic doll rivalry

Toyland Express Magazine

BARBIES TRADITIONALLY outnumber Bratz dolls in every category - Emily owned Barbies years before Bratz burst onto the scene following Emily's parents trip to New York in 2004. Barbie has been the favourite of little girls all over the world for some 48 years. Yet over the last few years it has become clear that Barbie is facing some tough competition from the Bratz dolls.

The Bratz have certainly had more success is Toyland than the awkwardly tall Barbies, particularly the Mini Bratz range. Ryan, Nazzy, Natalie and Zara all live in the Dolls House, and a 'baby Bratz' runs a bar in Smallvania.


Bratz steal Barbie's popularity crown (picture posed by models - plastic models)
Picture from Telegraph.co.uk

In contrast the Barbies, all big toys, lie in a blue crate amongst their clothes, a sea of plastic limbs. Emily has long shunned Barbies, with commentators citing the fact Barbie can't stand up on her own and cannot hold things as chief reasons for this. Barbies are also too big to live in any house or shelf in Toyland, and too hard to live on the bed. In the fast paced and overcrowded world of Emily's Toyland there is just no room, it seems, for such dolls.

The big Bratz dolls have suffered the same fate, of course, neglected with the Barbies. The surprise comes with the prominence of the mini Bratz.

Bratz are short, wide-eyed and big-headed dolls, the girls wearing thick eye shadow, and both boys and girls boasting more individual strands of hair than any other toy. Their clothes are exceptionally fashionable and many play musical instruments. Postman Ryan is recognised for his trademark brown satchel.

'We have a passion for fashion,' notes Natalie, reading the box she came in.

Cotton wool snow season starts

TOYS STILL AWAKE IN THE EARLY HOURS of this morning would have seen the first snowflakes of winter fall over Smallvania and Boston.

The whole of Toyland is now covered in a dreamy cotton wool-like blanket, with the bed, carpet, shelves and window frames appearing to be completely white.

'That's because they are white,' noted a cynical toy walking past.

Most however have greeted the snow with delight, particularly Nazzy Star who has found reason for wearing snowboots and ear muffs all year round. Ducky has put on his special musical ear muffs, and Marissa has dressed up in Sabrina's blue snowsuit.

Toys better enjoy the snow quickly however as weather forecasters say it will soon melt.

'I expect the snow will soon melt,' said one weather forecaster from Boston. 'But expect inches more of snow related stories this month.'

Heely craze hits Toyland

PARENTS OF TOYLAND CHILDREN have been bemused recently as the latest craze of Heelys have taken off.

After Emily got Heelys for Christmas, a shoe with wheels in the heels (Registered Trademark Bramble Enterprises), the shoes have been rolling off the shelves!

At her first ever junior school disco, Kaitlin, the popular schoolgirl, wore her Heelys, it has been reported by many sources.

'It was like so kool,' she said. 'I didn't have to do anything, I just held onto someone's shoulders and just let 'em pull me around! It was so kool!'

As Kaitlin sped off back to her flat in central Boston, which is located next to the park and far away from the less desirable South Toyland under the bed area, a Toyland Express reporter managed to take a short film of Chico Lopez. Chico, the same age as Kaitlin, is renowned by toys under the age of twelve everywhere to be the best at using his Heelys.

'Oh he's so cute!' added Kaitlin as she circled her sister's dog Peanut, clearly trying to get Chico's attention.

Exclusive to the Toyland Express below is the video of hispanic Heely legend Chico in action:

Toyland looks back on United Kingdom

AS ENGLAND AND SCOTLAND celebrate 300 years since the Union of the Crowns which created the United Kingdom, parallels have been drawn with Toyland, which was split up last year into two independent states, Boston and Smallvania.

'Emily's Toyland was together for over six years and no-one seems to be celebrating that!' said King Cheeky of Boston, who ruled over all of Toyland before Smallvania declared independence.

King Chris focussed more on looking to the future, however. 'We'd had enough of big toys changing things for small toys that they have nothing to do with - Smallvania is better off without Boston.'

A recent poll said that 62% of toys said they were from Boston or Smallvania instead of Toyland. Far from losing out from the split, Smallvania has the highest level of employment in recent Toyland history, mostly thanks to Bramble Enterprises. Since Christmas, however, residents have complained of overcrowding, including Mayor and Mayoress Puddleduck's horse and carriage home sitting in the middle of Smallvania Square.

Boston is largely unspoiled countryside, where the biggest open stretch of rolling white carpet can be found, away from the hustle and bustle of the city. It is nevertheless home to some of the most vocal characters of Toyland including Ducky Mallard, Marissa and Kaitlin Cooper, and Winnie the Pooh.

Smallvania is to celebrate its independence later this year with a specially designed £2 coin.

TE

Kaitlin loses glove

KING CHEEKY ASKED all Boston residents to keep their eyes open for Kaitlin Cooper's missing ski-ing glove, which she lost on Sunday morning. Readers with any information should call the Toyland Lost and Found on 0564 77-LOST.

Some fear Kaitlin left the glove on the ski-ing slope, but maintains her story that she left it in Marissa's car.

A fuming Marissa said she'd looked all over the car, and that Kaitlin had 'mucked it up, mucked it up big time!'

Related stories
Lizzie McGuire found in toybox after weeks missing
'When I lost my slippers', by Ducky

The O.C. cancelled shock!

FANS OF HIT US TEEN SHOW The O.C. were shocked to hear the news from California that the programme had been cancelled, with there being no new episodes after the current season ends next month.

The most surprised by the news were Boston residents Marissa and Kailin Cooper, and Smallvania postman Ryan Atwood, who were all named after characters from the show.

'Now my name won't be as cool!' squeaked Kaitlin, Marissa's little sister. 'That's cool with a k, by the way...'

'Waww I was named after a character from The OC?' said Ryan, the blonde-haired, muscular Bratz doll asked. 'And I'm not a doll, I'm an action figure!'

Excitable, bubbly university student Marissa Cooper was indifferent to the news, however. 'Well they killed off my character last season, and obviously without Marissa Cooper it just isn't worth carrying on! I'm the best! The best!'

In other news
Smallvania welcomes new resident Cutesypops Snuffleberry.
Dr Flixy cuts hand day after trapping it in a door.

The Story of Chris (Part 1)

Continuing Toyland's popular novelisation of the history of Toyland, here is the intriguing history of Smallvania's reigning king.

The Story of Chris
(or 'Three Names and Red Tie')

Christopher Preston Jeremy Steakface was born in Cape Town, South Africa forty-two years ago. He was born to able parents, and was instantly recognisable for his red paws and feet with white spots, and his chestnut fur.

On his birth he was given to a young sick child in hospital. The child took great care of him, as he was the only toy to keep him company on his bed. The child named the future king 'Preston', though being just a baby he was too young to remember why the child was sick and things like that.

Chris learnt to crawl on that soft, plasticky hospital bed in Cape Town. During the evenings he would crawl around the hospital ward tasting the other patients food that they hadn't eaten. It is there that he developed an affinity for good food.

Eventually, of course, the child got better, and took Chris home. Chris had grown into an adventurous young lad by this point. Unfortunately he wasn't accepted into that boy's Toyland. He was thrown into an empty spare room, as cold as a prison cell.

Chris was not very happy here, and being just a toy of a height of three inches, it was a great effort to navigate the room. All the toys in the child's room were big toys, giant soft animals who towered over him, and on more that one occassion fell on top of him, crushing his little red and white spotted paws. It was after this had happened too many times that Chris gave up, and wandered back to the spare room.

In the room there was very little besides a chair, a bed, and a table with some old magazines dating back to the 1950s on top of them. There were a few old LPs and a record player. As he had no-one to talk to, he resolved to at least be able to listen to those records. He climbed up onto the table and attempted to pull one out. He tried and tried but it was no use! Chris was nowhere near strong enough. The records were in a pile, each one held down by all the weight on top. To make matters worse, there was an enormous paperweight on top of all these mysterious records!

Of course even if he could reach those records, he'd still be lonely. Whilst pacing the room one day he saw an old opened box under the bed. It looked like it used to have some kind of bracelet or ring in it, but more importantly there was an untied ribbon lying around it. Chris picked it up and dragged it into the light, which was streaming through the windows. It could get quite warm in South Africa so up until this point Chris had been naked all of his life.

He picked the ribbon up and put it around his neck. He must have tried at least twenty times before he was successful, but he looked in the old mirror at the end of the room and he'd done it! Chris had tied himself a beautiful red tie. He crumpled something into his pocket hastily. He was all set.

He ran downstairs, trying his best not to be seen, though that wasn't hard for a small toy, and ran out the back door which was open, the owners of the house swimming in the pool outside. He ran down the steep hill towards the sea. When he arrived at the beach, he pulled out the paper from his pocket.

It was a huge map. He had to unfold it onto the hot sand, and weighed it down with some stones to stop it blowing away. It was a map of hundreds of rocks, some huge and bigger than several human beings, and all bigger than the little boy Chris, or Preston as he was currently known.

Chris sat there for a long time working out which direction to go in. Its hard to use a map where you are so small that sometimes the bumps in sand in front of you are higher than your little black bead eyes!

At last he seemed to know which way he was going, and with a little smile, he announced to himself, 'Ou! My first day!'.

It should be explained at this point that Chris had developed for some reason a tendency to start and sometimes also puncuate all his sentences with the sound 'Ou', spoken in his gruff South African accent. Right now, his voice wasn't terribly low as he was just a boy.

Emily back at school not shock

THE SPRING TERM started in schools across England today with Emily being back, as well as some of her favourite toys including Simba, Carly and Kaitlin who return to Sunnydale School.

Carly, the Princess of Boston, was said to have skipped into school delightfully this morning. Others however were less than pleased. Mischievous Jellycat doll Kaitlin Cooper said, 'It sucks I don't wanna go back to school the teachers are all so unfair to me!'

The weekend will see Marissa return to Sunnydale University to continue her degree in colouring in.

TE

Toyland grinds to a halt under sickness epidemic

THE STREETS OF TOYLAND WERE empty today as all but one of the toys were bedridden with a highly contagious vomiting bug.

The only person not infected is Marissa Cooper, who has hidden herself away in a corner of her flat, terrified that its only a matter of time before she falls ill too.

The first toy to fall ill was Kaitlin, who passed it on to Sabrina and Claire while they cleaned up after her. Across the border in Smallvania, Zara and Spurry were spending most of their time on the toilet. This wasn't much of a change for Zara, admittedly.

Fingers were quick to point at who'd brought the illness in. 'I'm sure it was that rat toy from McDonald's... coming in here from a foreign country, bringing all his bugs!' said an anonymous source.

The sickness is expected to quickly pass, and those not ill (i.e. Marissa) are advised to avoid any glasses, mugs, toilets or department stores used by those who are ill until they are fully cleaned.

'I'm staying in my room,' said Marissa.

TE

Toys announce new years resolutions

SMALLVANIANS AND BOSTONIANS welcomed the new year in in style this morning at Marissa's party on the bed. Even Jonathan Bramble came, despite saying last week that he 'certainly wouldn't go to that party'. Some surprise guests were there, including Marissa's old infant school classmate Alison Eagle.

After a rendition of Auld Lang Syne, thoughts turned to new years resolutions, and the Toyland Express spoke to some of Toyland's top stars about their ambitions for 2007.

'Ducky's resolution will be to eat less white bread,' said Mrs Mallard, Ducky's mother. Ducky didn't look best pleased with this suggestion.

'My resolution is to make lots of new friends in Toyland,' said new resident Claire McKuchen, a Jellycat doll.

'My resolution is to get in trouble with the headmistress of Sunnydale less,' said Kaitlin Cooper, to the approval of her sister Marissa. '...By getting caught less!' she quickly added, giggling. Marissa didn't agree with this mischeivous streak in her little sister!

Two characters, Lizzie McGuire and Emma Bramble, resolved to work harder at school, even though they are both top of their class. Emma's brother, Jonathan, had less academic hopes:

'I'm gonna become absolutely fantastic at football! Yeeh! I wanna play for the Birmingham City Football Club under 12's squad!'

Whether any of these resolutions will be kept remains to be seen. One resolution all of the party-goers thought would happen was Whitey's. The boyfriend of Marissa announced over the bowl of punch that his new years resolution was 'Y'alright? I just want to be a nice, friendly teddy!'

Ducky is two years old.

TE