Special Report

AFTER THE CELEBRATIONS OF EMILY TURNING 9 last weekend, a national holiday in Toyland, the Toyland Express interviewed residents old and new to ask what they thought of the new arrivals...

Lucas Bento and his friend Mazzy Star are probably the most important arrivals in Toyland. They are living in the Dolls' House with the other L'il Bratz.

Mazzy, the identical twin of one-time popstar and candyfloss seller Nazzy, said 'I love it here! Who could think a Bratz could live in a house made of wood? With such lovely furniture too! Although people do keep mistaking me for my sister Nazzy. Its especially embarrasing when Ryan does! They must all remember the difference is that I wear a belt. When I take the belt off I can see why people get confused!' Mazzy is an ice-skater.

Lucas, due to be initiated into the Boys' Club this evening, added, 'Hey yeah this place is pretty sweet, and I don't mind livin' in a house with so many others. My friend, I come from an Italian family, I have fifteen brothers and sixteen sisters, and two sets of great-grandparents who are still alive. I like big families!' The slick black-haired 'action figure' is apparently winning the hearts of many, particularly local toy shop owner Mrs Mouse.

'He's squeaking gorgeous!' she squeaked, as Lucas jumped into the new Bratz white cadillac to buy some ciabbata rolls for lunch.

'Wawwwwwwwwwww don't forget about me!' interrupted Ryan, telling us how pleased he was to have a fellow boy in the house to do 'Boys stuff' with, which he said included things like watching the rugby, the cricket, the golf, the football, Top Gear, and drinking beer.

Across Smallvania in the bakery, depending on the direction of the wind, Toyland has a new aroma of freshly baked bread, which the new baker, Christopher Appleyard, gets up at half past four in the morning to bake. The Toyland Inspector reported that the bakery was the finest and safest building he'd ever inspected. Appleyard has purportedly politely declined all of local business emperor Barry Bramble's offers to make the bakery part of his corporation.

'Eu! Another Christopher? I don't know what to think about this!' said Chris Steakface.
'Did you say his surname was Appleyard?' asked Spurry, but there was no time for this reporter to answer as Chris Steakface was eager to show us the newly opened Chris and Spurry Steakplace building, also wooden, in Boston.

'It's a converted CD rack. We kept the original beams. We cater for Smallvanians and Bigvanians *ahem* I mean Bostonians alike,' Chris explained as King Cheeky tucked into a raw zebra steak with his family.

'This definitely isn't Carly's homework!' said His Royal Highness.

Amid all this excitement, a large duck flew in, with wrapping paper stuck to his wings. 'It was my birthday too!' said Ducky.

'Ahem EXCUSE-ME!' cried a local university student with a Californian twang to her accent and a box of wax crayons in her satchel. 'You've mentioned all these characters but not ME? Look at me look at me look at me!'

Ducky is four years old.

Ducky 'recovering' after being rushed to hospital

DUCKY MALLARD'S CONDITION WAS DESCRIBED AS 'stable and healthy' last night as he recovered at home after a lengthy operation of open-back surgery. The Bostonian resident was restuffed following an external wound discovered the previous day. He was also installed with a new voice.

The ordeal started on Sunday afternoon when Emily noticed a cut in Ducky's back, which was bleeding fluff. Ducky's weight loss had been commented upon, though up until now this had been down to natural squashing of his stuffing, a condition doctors say is caused by 'above average amounts of hugging'.

Ducky was rushed to the Toyland doctor, Sabrina Spellman, who has only recently passed her final medicine exams. 'It was really exciting, this duck came in with a huge wound on his back and I got to just stick my hands in there to temporarily stitch it together!' beamed Sabrina, who has been enjoying her first taste of real responsibility as a doctor.

Once out of accident and emergency, yesterday Ducky was driven to the local Build-a-Bear where, under anaesthetic, he was restuffed and properly stitched up, after having a second voice installed. His new voice, when pressed, exclaims 'My name's Ducky - and I like eating bread!'.


Pictured: An example of the stuffing machine to which Ducky was attached.

'The shop assistants were so professional, I thank them so much!' said Ducky when he came out, sporting a new Hello Kitty T-shirt as a present for being so brave from Emily.

Ducky has undergone toy surgery once before, when he was given a replacement voice and a second heart.

'He's so brave! My big brave ducky son!' said Ducky's Mum, who had topped up her lipstick especially for Express reporters.

Ducky is three years old.