Special Report

AFTER THE CELEBRATIONS OF EMILY TURNING 9 last weekend, a national holiday in Toyland, the Toyland Express interviewed residents old and new to ask what they thought of the new arrivals...

Lucas Bento and his friend Mazzy Star are probably the most important arrivals in Toyland. They are living in the Dolls' House with the other L'il Bratz.

Mazzy, the identical twin of one-time popstar and candyfloss seller Nazzy, said 'I love it here! Who could think a Bratz could live in a house made of wood? With such lovely furniture too! Although people do keep mistaking me for my sister Nazzy. Its especially embarrasing when Ryan does! They must all remember the difference is that I wear a belt. When I take the belt off I can see why people get confused!' Mazzy is an ice-skater.

Lucas, due to be initiated into the Boys' Club this evening, added, 'Hey yeah this place is pretty sweet, and I don't mind livin' in a house with so many others. My friend, I come from an Italian family, I have fifteen brothers and sixteen sisters, and two sets of great-grandparents who are still alive. I like big families!' The slick black-haired 'action figure' is apparently winning the hearts of many, particularly local toy shop owner Mrs Mouse.

'He's squeaking gorgeous!' she squeaked, as Lucas jumped into the new Bratz white cadillac to buy some ciabbata rolls for lunch.

'Wawwwwwwwwwww don't forget about me!' interrupted Ryan, telling us how pleased he was to have a fellow boy in the house to do 'Boys stuff' with, which he said included things like watching the rugby, the cricket, the golf, the football, Top Gear, and drinking beer.

Across Smallvania in the bakery, depending on the direction of the wind, Toyland has a new aroma of freshly baked bread, which the new baker, Christopher Appleyard, gets up at half past four in the morning to bake. The Toyland Inspector reported that the bakery was the finest and safest building he'd ever inspected. Appleyard has purportedly politely declined all of local business emperor Barry Bramble's offers to make the bakery part of his corporation.

'Eu! Another Christopher? I don't know what to think about this!' said Chris Steakface.
'Did you say his surname was Appleyard?' asked Spurry, but there was no time for this reporter to answer as Chris Steakface was eager to show us the newly opened Chris and Spurry Steakplace building, also wooden, in Boston.

'It's a converted CD rack. We kept the original beams. We cater for Smallvanians and Bigvanians *ahem* I mean Bostonians alike,' Chris explained as King Cheeky tucked into a raw zebra steak with his family.

'This definitely isn't Carly's homework!' said His Royal Highness.

Amid all this excitement, a large duck flew in, with wrapping paper stuck to his wings. 'It was my birthday too!' said Ducky.

'Ahem EXCUSE-ME!' cried a local university student with a Californian twang to her accent and a box of wax crayons in her satchel. 'You've mentioned all these characters but not ME? Look at me look at me look at me!'

Ducky is four years old.