Bramble 'Apprentice' Nugget Scandal

LOCAL ENTREPRENEUR BARRY BRAMBLE was at the centre of what commentators called 'Nuggetgate' this weekend.

One of the contestants of his new show, The Brambleprentice, created a scene at the renowned greasy spoon cafe at the Barry Bramble Department Store. On mishearing a customer order, contestant Graham Greybear mistakenly served the customer Onion and Goats Cheese lattice instead of cod and chips, as ordered.

Greybear then proceeded to, after much protest, replace the dish but then charge for both.

'He says he mishead my order,' said the customer, a Mr Jeff Badger, aged 99, a regular at the cafe. 'But how can you mistake cod and chips for onion and goats cheese lattice?' he asked.

'Goats cheese is horrible. We had to eat it during the war when all the cows had to go and fight the Germans. I never have any problem hearing anyone and I am ninety-nine!'

Our reporter asked Badger if he would be returning to his favourite greasy spoon cafe.

'What?' he replied.

Graham Greybear was appearing on The Brambleprentice in a task which required teams to run a real life cafe. His team lost. On the show, broadcast on the Toyland Network on Wednesday night at 8pm, Barry Bramble told Greybear:

'This entire task was an absolute squ**king disaster. I've been in business since I was fourteen and have never treated a customer so badly. And for the record my cafe is not a greasy spoon.'

Greybear responded that in the next challenge he would apply 175% effort.

'I won't hear anymore of it. You're fired!' said Bramble.

Barry Bramble dropped out of school as a teenager and started a business selling used coathangers for twenty pence out of the back of a disused treehouse to fellow schoolchildren. Since then he has built up his empire to include a department store with a toyshop, and a clothing shop, in the centre of Smallvania. He also owns shares in Polly Pocket airways. The winner of The Brambleprentice will win a job with Bramble, stacking shelves for a 'two-figure salary'.

TE

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