Complete Character Guide

1. Jeff Badger
99 year old badger, ex-Smallvanian mayor, hard of hearing

2. Mayor P. Puddleduck
Aggressive and offhand incumbent Smallvanian mayor

3. Jonathan Bramble
Set to follow in the footsteps of his father Barry, also a big Birmingham City FC fan

4. Donna Donkey
5. Jeremy
Little known homeless Sylvanians known for looking worse for wear

6. Nick Guinea Pig
7. Hayley Reindeer
8. Annie Guinea Pig
9. Pearl Dalmation
10. Garnet Meow
11. Rick Reindeer
14. Patch Dalmation
16. Madame Meow
Generic Sylvanian townsfolk of Smallvania

12. Emma Bramble
Enterprising daughter of Barry, known for fighting with her brother Jonathan and working at the Smallvanian Library

13. Graham Greybear
Local crossdressing comedy character, once named as the new king as an April Fool's by Chris Steakface, the then King of Smallvania

15. Mrs Bunny
New manager of the nursery, which replaced the Orphanage this summer, and is now nicknamed 'The Bunnage' for the amount of bunnies who attend

17. Mabel Badger
Ninety-something year old ex-Mayoress of Smallvania, normally found enjoying tiny portions of tea and toast in the Bramble Cafe

18. Barry Bramble
'Birmingham born and bred' entrepreneur and proprietor of Barry Bramble Enterprises, which owns the Barry Bramble Department Store with its toyshop, juice stand and cafe; the Stables; the nursery and a small percentage of the library

19. Monsieur Meow
French chef of the Bramble cafe

20. Mick Guinea Pig
21. Dick Reindeer
22. Mayoress Petra Puddleduck
23. Molly Guinea Pig
24. Donna Reindeer
25. Liz Bramble
Generic Sylvanian townsfolk of Smallvania

26. Mrs Dalmation
Angry and underpaid employee of Barry Bramble, runs the juice stand and the toy shop. Married and divorced from Sam the Squirrel. Uses Toyish swearing ('squeaking') more than any other character, despite working in a child-orientated job

27. Christopher Apple-Blossom
Baker in the Sylvanian bakery in Smallvania. Admired for refusing to sell his business to Barry Bramble, despite constant offers

28. Ducky Mallard
Highly successful limited edition Bear Factory duck with two voices and two hearts. Has lived on and slept in Emily's bed since birth. Real name Dotty. Ducky is four years old. Enjoys expansive wardrobe and frequent foreign holidays

29. Phoebe Nightingale
Sleepy pyjama-clad Jellycat doll from Bedfordshire, England. Known for her posh accent, yawning, and having different hair to the rest of the Jellycat Bunch

30. Sabrina Spellman
Aged 23, the oldest of the Jellycat Bunch. Official Toyland doctor and secretly graduated from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

31. Marissa Cooper
Fun-loving and talkative Californian brunette, aged 20. Works as the King's personal adviser as well as undertaking a colouring-in degree at Sunnydale University, where she graduates next year. Hopes to be an illustrator. Sent to Toyland by her Daddy to learn how to behave and after escaping from the Land of Old Toys (now Oldsville) in a possibly apocryphal story, now undoubtedly the most successful and well-known of Emily's toys

32. Claire McKuchen
Fire-haired Texan and best friend of Marissa Cooper, enjoys a glamorous lifestyle and known to be Emily's mum's favourite of the Jellycat Bunch.

33. Hershey Bear
Seventies soul singer who had hits such as 'Easy (like Sunday Morning)', 'Never Give Up on a Good Thing' and 'Endless Love' but has since fallen into obscurity, trying to make ends meet playing his songs at various low profile bar concerts. Brief comeback when dated Marissa in 2005, followed by Sabrina. Known to wail at night begging Marissa to take him back

34. Canada Jack
The only Canadian toy, best known for being the first big toy to move to Smallvania. Now resides in Oldsville

35. Little Lion
Brother of Queen Nala and member of the royal family. Lives in Kensington Palace

36. Lapinou
Royal chef, French, lives and works in Kensington Palace

37. Marshmellow
Absolutely filthy formerly pink dog, lives in Oldsville

38. D.A.W.G.
Talkative and soft dog from Oldsville, with a good bark and an insatiable desire to be with Marshmellow, who shows him no interest no matter how often he sniffs her bum

39. Leo
Small Bostonian lion, who Chris Steakface insists is his best friend

40. Stur
Even smaller lion beanbag, emigrated from Andrew's Toyland some years ago

41. L'il Whitey
Little brother of White Teddy, passionate about campaigning over climate change and saving our ecosystems

42. Shamu
Royal butler, with Penny Penguin

43. HRH Princess Carly Spots
Jungolo in Africa daughter of Cheeky and Nala, second in line to the throne. Aged nine, best known for doing her homework and excellent impressions of all other characters. Attends St Trillian's School for Girls, like her mother did, and seen as much more intelligent and athletic than her older brother Simba

44. HRH Queen Nala Spots
Very quiet wife of King Cheeky. Attended St Trillian's School for Girls where she met Cheeky over the fence at break time, where he was attending the next door St Trillian's School for Boys. The pair both went to Oxford University before returning to Cape Town, where they were eventually sent to Toyland by Emily's Granny. Very rarely talks, but takes over as Cheeky's deputy when away and is very bossy when put in charge

45. HRH Prince Simba Spots
Slightly podgy and overweight heir to the throne, aged eleven. Loves eating crisps, chocolate and other junk food snacks. Favourite song is 'I Just Can't Wait to be King' from the Lion King movie soundtrack

46. HRH King Cheekius 'Cheeky' Popsalot Spots
King of Toyland, arrived on August 1st 2003. Went through a phase of being a mean king who enjoyed taxing his citizens heavily, but as he has grown older he has softened and become more caring, generous and positive about his kingdom. Usurped by Chris as King of Smallvania for a period over 2006-07 but defeated and quickly forgave his rival at the Battle of Smallvania, as reported in this newspaper. Sports an expensive red velvet Barbie robe, and lives in Kensington Palace atop Emily's bed, overlooking Toyland. Also King of some disputed parts of Oldsville. First toy of the Born in Africa bunch.

47. Chico Gonzalez
Only boy Jellycat, Chico is a Mexican-born cousin of Claire McKuchen. Known for being highly talented on his Heelys and at football. His hispanic background also makes him fluent in Spanish and a big fan of flamenco guitar music. Very humble and often overwhelmed, seeing himself as just a regular schoolboy. Lacks the usual self-importance of members of the influential Jellycat Bunch

48. Peanut
Rug-like pet dog of Marissa Cooper, bought in Covent Garden and named after the first word spotted in a random flick through a book in the same toyshop. Replaced Frankie, the purple-bowed poodle who was lost on Marissa's trip to California in 2006

49. Kaitlin Cooper
Nine year old sister of Marissa, universally loved by all she meets. Top of the class at Sunnydale Juniors, always smiling and keen to learn and have fun. Also sent by her Daddy to learn how to behave but has quickly adapted to Toyland culture

50. Lizzie McGuire
First Jellycat owned by Emily, but less successful owing to being a mermaid. Half-sister of Sabrina Spellman. Rarely speaks or is spoken to

51. The Hungry Lion
Wide-eyed lion always in search of some rabbit stew

52. Winnie the Pooh
Long-serving Mayor of Boston, known to be quite boring but engages in daily chats across the bed with Ducky. Also a hot water bottle cover/pyjama case

53. White Teddy
One of the original toys of Emily, member of the famous 'Pinky Whitey Lamby Shawly' foursome years ago. Came back to popularity following a trip to Boston, USA with Emily's Dad and a starring role in the Story of Marissa. Now works in Kensington Palace and dates Marissa Cooper

54. Prime Minister Philip Nizz
Australian Build-a-Bear toy with maximum stuffing. Appointed Prime Minister of the Land of Old Toys by King Cheeky before declaring it independent and renaming it Oldsville. Leads what he calls the 'heroic struggle' against 'Cheeky's imperial occupation' of the downstairs room

55. Warty Warthog
Large Born in Africa warthog - about sums it up, really

56. Lionel Richie
Non-royal lion

57. Elmo
Former head policeman of Toyland until replaced on general duty by Claire and Spurry for always letting people off. Catchphrase is 'Elmo says stop!'

58. Penny Penguin
Royal butler

59. Creamcake
62. Twitch
Generic Bostonian townsfolk characters

60. Edward Wafflington
Pet duck of Kaitlin Cooper, loves baths and reading from his encyclopedia. Very posh and clever but never shows up his loving owner

61. Shortbread
Bratz pony

63. Porkchop
Jellycat cow, lives in Jellycat Bunch household as a pet

64. Emma
Little English Schoolgirl, runs untidy carpark under the bed.

65. The Flying Turtle
Always features in Carly's Homework

66. Ribbons
Even Emily didn't know who this is

67. Abi
Sabrina's cat

68. Snowski
Claire's pet bunny rabbit, named because Emily got it on a skiing holiday and it is snow coloured

69. Christopher Steakface
Smartly dressed South African bear, fond of all manly activities such as rugby, cricket and drinking Castle Lager. Runs the Chris & Spurry Steakplace in Boston where his speciality is BBQing everything from steak to banana milkshakes (a trade secret). Founded the Boys Club and the Three Inches High Club, which went on to lead the revolution making Smallvania independent for a short period

70. Stephen Steakface
Oldest son of Chris and Spurry

71. Spurry's Sister
Toy who shares Spurry's voice button of saying '*Kiss* I love you!', so therefore must be related

72. Spurinda 'Spurry' Steakface
Originally a charity keyring bought at the Spur restaurant in Cape Town, on a holiday in which she met Chris whom she dated then married and now has two children and runs a business with. Recently employed with Claire as the Toyland policewoman. Known for her feisty attitude and love of (usually) playfully 'pummelling' people, as well as bossing Chris around despite her diminuative stature. Proud of being Jewish

73. Nazalia 'Nazzy' Atwood
Née Nazalia Star, Wintertime Wonderland L'il Bratz doll enjoys ski-ing and selling candy floss. Enjoyed some success as a popstar before moving into the Bratz mansion and marrying her long-time boyfriend Ryan Atwood.

74. Ryan Atwood
Whiney sounding postman Bratz doll with blonde hair, muscles and a perfect life

75. Adriana 'Adie' Atwood
Pig-tailed sister of Ryan, lives with all the L'il Bratz dolls in the Bratz mansion (the dolls house). Works at the bakers and wants to be a teacher

76. Zara
Only ethnic minority Bratz doll, behaves like all the other girls

77. Mazzy Star
Identical twin sister of Nazzy Star, also had a slightly successful music career

78. Lucas Gabriel
Spanish American Bratz and best friend of Ryan Atwood. Drives a convertible and thrills the residents of Smallvania with his stylish ways

79. Natalie Star
Rock n Roll Bratz doll with a range of very short skirts, guitars and related accessories. The youngest of the L'il Bratz, known to say 'Er, whatever!' if spoken to

80. Baby Rose Atwood
Wooden daughter of Ryan and Nazzy Atwood with her father's hair and mother's eyes

81. Pudsen
82. Freya Dalmation
83. Cheese Bunny
84. Pepperoni Meow
85. Tomato Bunny
90. Gingernut the Squirrel
91. Honey 'Funny' Bunny
All Sylvanian orphans who live in the nursery

86. Jemima Puddleduck
87. Diana Puddleduck
88. Cuthbert Puddleduck
89. Bertha Puddleduck
Children of Mayor and Mayoress Puddleduck, live in the Sylvanian Canal Boat (pronounced 'Can-nal')

92. David Steakface
Second son of Chris and Spurry. Jewish.

93. Shawly
By far the oldest character, originally from Philip's Toyland, Shawly is twenty years old and is a much loved blanket who has occassionally had speaking roles in the past and can play the trumpet but generally exists only as a soft bedtime essential, even through its increasingly threadbare days

Not pictured
94. Sam the Squirrel
Ex-convict from Ikea, went on a rampage in Toyland one day annoyed with what he perceived as everybody 'taking everything for granted'. Has a 'hook hairstyle', much to the annoyance of Spurry. Despite having served his time in prison, most of Toyland hasn't forgiven him

95. Ducky's Mum
Heavily Lipstickked McDonald's toy with dreadful fashion sense and a bizarrely small size for someone who is Ducky's mum. Helps Ducky get dressed

96. The Toyland Inspector
Also a McDonald's toy, dressed in a tweed waistcoat, the Toyland Inspector checks all Toyland buildings for health and safety and can close them down

97. Snuffles
One of Emily's guinea pigs, made an honorary resident of Boston by King Cheeky

98. Nibbles
The other of Emily's guinea pigs

99. Ducky's Fairy Godmother
The fairy that hangs from the ceiling above Emily's bed

100. Virgina / Supersmall
Tiny toy who lives in Emily's schoolshoes and secretly transforms into Toyland's best known (and only) superhero

TE

24 hours in pictures: Toys gather for Express-sponsored group photo

MOST OF EMILY'S TOYS (ABOUT 93% of them) gathered on Sunshine Avenue, Boston, today for a group photo of all the characters that could be found from Boston, Smallvania and Oldsville.


Claire McKuchen gets ready for the photoshoot



The finished product


'After three, go crazy - 1, 2...!!!'


Ducky's Fairy Godmother watches proceedings from the ceiling. Ducky is four years old.


The Jellycat Bunch pose for a private photo

Don't miss this week's special pull-out-and-keep poster guide to who's who - the most comprehensive list of all Emily's toys ever compiled!

TE

King lives like king in London

KING CHEEKY visited London with Emily on Saturday to see the Lion King musical in the West End. For the first time in his life he sampled city living, enjoying his first trip outside the house since possibly as long ago as 2004.


Pictured: His Royal Highness outside a traditional red phone box in Leicester Square

'It was so lovely, I'd just like to take this opportunity to thank Emily again for taking me along in her bag. The Lion King has been a great inspiration for my life, obviously my wife is called Nala and I named my son Simba,' beamed Cheeky.


Pictured: The King takes the tube

'I've learnt a lot about ruling a kingdom recently,' reflected the most famous of the Toyland royals, perhaps thinking of his recent successes in closing down the Smallvanian Orphanage and replacing it with a well-supplied nursery, as well as managing to sleep with Emily two nights in a row at time of writing. 'I didn't get to meet Queen Elizabeth unfortunately, but I did go Hamley's on Regent Street, one of the biggest toyshops in the world.'


Pictured: The King had a spacious stall in the Royal Circle, appropriately.


Pictured: Our King Cheeky is snapped by paparazzi from Toylands in London. Onlookers said the king was complimented for being King of one of the most complex toylands of modern schoolchildren. He is admired for ruling over toys which have their own towns, currency system and even a top quality newspaper. He is also now King of the next Olympics host city, Boston.

The King's fortunes have suddenly rapidly improved, from a low point two years ago when he wasn't at all considered one of Emily's favourite toys.


Pictured: Cheeky tucking into a chocolate eclair in Covent Garden market. Upon seeing this photograph, local university student and part time campaigner Marissa Cooper couldn't control herself any further, and exploded with indignation that she was not taken, being the most popular toy and having grown used to being taken on these outings. 'Humph humph humph!' she said as she folded her arms melodramatically.

As we can see, our King was riding high in the city of the moment.

More inside today's Express
Comment: King's good fortune is good for us all

TE

Oldsville hands over Olympics in style

THE OLYMPICS 2008 HAVE COME TO AN END in Oldsville, with an expensive display of fireworks and processions of the top athletes of the sporting event.

'These Olympics have been very important for the toyish world,' said a representative for the Toyland Olympics Committee. 'Countries have learnt about Oldsville and Oldsville has learnt about other countries. The former "Land of Old Toys" is no longer isolated. Its residents should be proud.'

It is not known how much Oldsville residents will give up on their traditioal longings to move to, or in some cases return to, Emily's Toyland upstairs. What is known is that Prime Minister Nizz looked incredibly proud when he handed the Olympic flag over to Mayor Winnie to Pooh of Boston, which is to be the next host city of the Games.

The final medal table was as follows:
1. Oldsville
2. Boston
3. Philip's Toyland
4. Smallvania
5. Grace's Toyland

'We are very excited to be holding the Toyland Olympics 2012 here in Boston' said King Cheeky. 'Emily is also pleased that they will be held in her hometown,' he added, referring to how Emily's bed is in Boston and therefore is considered by many to be a Bostonian.

'I'm so exciiiitedd!' said one Bostonian partying in front of Kensington Palace at the handover party today. Ducky is four years old.

In this week's editions of The Toyland Express - London special!
King lives like a king in London
Express2: Our reporter discovers a whole world of luxury toy homes and cars in Hamley's, London

Boston storms ahead in Oldsville

THE BOSTONIAN OLYMPIANS have stormed to second place in the medals table after languishing between 4th and 5th in the first half of the 2008 Oldsville Olympics.

Their successes came on Saturday when cyclists Sabrina Spellman and Phoebe Nightingale won Gold in the sailing regatta and cycling marathon respectively. Phoebe Nightingale cycled up and down treacherous hilly terrain to the Punchbowl, hundreds of Toyish miles away from Oldsville.


Pictured: Sarah, Grace's Toyland's entry for the cycling marathon, took Bronze, despite carrying her pet pooch along with her

'I thought it was over when I fell off my bike on a particularly steep hill,' said Nightingale, aged 21. Onlookers thought she had fallen asleep because she was going so slow.

'Well it is her trademark! Wouldn't have surprised me!' said an acid-tongued spectator, Mrs Mouse.

Coming second in that marathon was Spurry Steakface (Smallvania), a cycling veteran now said to be more accustomed to driving. Despite racing ahead early on, eager to make it to her hair appointment, she fell behind when bumping into one of the builders of the new Chris & Spurry Steakplace on the way.

'And I missed my hair appointment - again! I need to get my hook restyled for the closing ceremony!' said Steakface.


Pictured: Failing to qualify for the cycling pursuit final from the initial heats was this odd-looking toy said to be representing Philip's Toyland. He is believed to be from the loft.

Ryan Atwood won gold for Smallvania in the cycling pursuit, beating his opponent, Wise Teddy, from the host country Oldsville.

'I think Wise did excellently, but he is getting a little old and slow and where once he was the best at this sport I think he should take more of a backseat role, offering cycling advice and wisdom to younger participants' said a particularly sage Ducky Mallard. Ducky is four years old.

Ducky himself will be competing in the breadrace tomorrow, where participants swim around a pond catching as much bread as they can. Other events coming up next week include the long awaited Trampolining contest, the corridor sprint and women's gymnastics, where Boston is expected to do well.


Pictured: Other events that have already taken place include weightlifting, where Chris Steakface, known as "Toyland's Strongest Chef", took Gold for Smallvania. This not very well known character took Silver for Philip's Toyland. Representatives from the Oldsville Olympic Committee said they did not enquire as to where Philip was getting his participants from.

THE MEDALS TABLE AS IT STANDS
1. Oldsville (35 gold, 13 silver, 13 bronze)
2. Boston (19 gold, 21 silver, 25 bronze)
3. Smallvania (11 gold, 6 silver, 8 bronze)
4. Philip's Toyland (3 gold, 2 silver, 1 bronze)
5. Grace's Toyland (1 gold, 1 silver, 1 bronze)

In other news...
Outlook uncertain for Emily voyage to Newcastle - toys 'pleased'
Interviews for Saturday London theatre trip tickets with Emily next week
Worry grows in disputed region of Oldsville that King Cheeky plans invasion

Toyish Olympics open with swimming successes

THE TOYLAND OLYMPICS BEGAN TODAY ACROSS THE HOUSE after a spectacular opening ceremony in Oldsville, the host country.


Pictured: Lego swimmers from Smallvania were barred from entering the competition after scandal emerged about their controversial training practices

Oldsville, formerly the Land of Old Toys, is enjoying the international attention after it was controversially chosen as the host by Edd the Duck, President of the Toyish Olympics Association. Despite reports that some countries would not show up for the events, in protest at the levels of poverty and corruption in that country, all countries invited are participating. Even King Cheeky attended the opening ceremony, appearing to finally admit Oldsville's independence.

The five countries fielding athletes are Boston and Smallvania (competing separately although under one King), Philip's Toyland (despite its very low population of toys), Oldsville and Grace's Toyland.

Today at Emily's bathtime the mixed freestyle race took place across the bath. Ryan Atwood, the athletic postman Bratz doll, took the gold as expected for Smallvania, with silver going to a small frog toy from Oldsville and bronze to a Barbie doll from Grace's Toyland.

Ducky, sporting a brand new bikini, only managed fourth despite being a pond animal with excellent doggy paddle. Ducky is four years old. The crowd were nevertheless impressed with his new swimwear, which he bragged was from exotic Barbados.

More events will occur tomorrow, and the Toyland Express will provide daily coverage as the medals pile up.

King Cheeky's birthday forgotten again

HIS ROYAL HIGHNESS KING CHEEKIUS POPSALOT SPOTS THE FIRST celebrated his 5th birthday to himself on Friday 1st August, Toyland residents only just realised yesterday. It is not at all the first time this has happened, due to Emily being on holiday without the King once again.

The first of August marks the date Cheeky arrived in Toyland, which was then not even named. He quickly established himself as King of the new kingdom which he has ruled ever since, joined by Queen Nala in 2004, and overcoming a brief phase from 2006 to 2007 where Smallvania declared itself independent. He is the only toy other than Ducky Mallard and local loudmouth Marissa Cooper and to have a consistently recognised birthday date.

A spokesman for Kensington Palace, the official residence of the entire royal family, said the King had celebrated privately with his family but wouldn't have minded at least a birthday card from Emily and the other toys. Cheeky is also believed to have said at least he didn't make a fuss like Prime Minister Nizz of the Land of Old Toys (Oldsville), who ordered a public procession two months ago despite running a very poor country.

'Eu. I have cooked King Cheeky a special birthday zebra steak,' said Bostonian chef Chris Steakface, proprietor of the Chris & Spurry Steakplace, upon realising his mistake. Relatively young, Chris Steakface only arrived in Toyland in April 2005, so has only been living here three and a half years. His human age is unknown as he is second hand, as shown by his loose threads.

'Wawww birthday cards started flooding my postal satchel from Saturday!' said postman Ryan Atwood.

'Excuse-me, local LOUDMOUTH?!' commented Cooper, 20, before adding 'Cooper? Has the Toyland Express gone off me or something? At least call me Coop or The Coopster. It's just cooler.' The Coopster will match Cheeky's five years at Christmas this year.

'My mummy has bought me a present to give to King Cheeky when I next see him,' said Ducky. Ducky is four years old.

Cheeky was seen sleeping in Emily's bed all weekend to celebrate being five human years old. Cheeky's Toyish age is 67.

The next birthday that toys might want to remember is Kaitlin Cooper, Toyish age nine, who has lived in Boston two years this October.

In other news...
Rare photo of baby Emily with Rosie uncovered
McKuchen working Wednesday and Saturday giving Toyland Tours