Toyish Olympics open with swimming successes

THE TOYLAND OLYMPICS BEGAN TODAY ACROSS THE HOUSE after a spectacular opening ceremony in Oldsville, the host country.


Pictured: Lego swimmers from Smallvania were barred from entering the competition after scandal emerged about their controversial training practices

Oldsville, formerly the Land of Old Toys, is enjoying the international attention after it was controversially chosen as the host by Edd the Duck, President of the Toyish Olympics Association. Despite reports that some countries would not show up for the events, in protest at the levels of poverty and corruption in that country, all countries invited are participating. Even King Cheeky attended the opening ceremony, appearing to finally admit Oldsville's independence.

The five countries fielding athletes are Boston and Smallvania (competing separately although under one King), Philip's Toyland (despite its very low population of toys), Oldsville and Grace's Toyland.

Today at Emily's bathtime the mixed freestyle race took place across the bath. Ryan Atwood, the athletic postman Bratz doll, took the gold as expected for Smallvania, with silver going to a small frog toy from Oldsville and bronze to a Barbie doll from Grace's Toyland.

Ducky, sporting a brand new bikini, only managed fourth despite being a pond animal with excellent doggy paddle. Ducky is four years old. The crowd were nevertheless impressed with his new swimwear, which he bragged was from exotic Barbados.

More events will occur tomorrow, and the Toyland Express will provide daily coverage as the medals pile up.