Christmas lights switch on

TOYS WRAPPED UP IN THEIR SCARVES AND MITTENS LAST NIGHT to watch the Toyland Christmas lights switch on in the shopping district Smallvania Square.


A pink Christmas tree in the Barry Bramble Department Store yesterday

The decorations were declared officially open by local has-been celebrity Hershey Bear, a soul singer most popular in the seventies. He also sang a version of 'Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow' which he dedicated to a 'special Californian Jellycat.'

'I'll let it snow alright... in his PORRIDGE!' commented an unimpressed Marissa Cooper, 20.

'That doesn't even make sense, big sis!' replied her little sister Kaitlin, 9.

The centrepiece of the decorations is a gigantic (by small toy perspectives) pink Christmas tree, described by local schoolboy Jonathan Bramble, sporting a football shirt, as 'screamingly girly'.


The lights during the daytime, and, top picture, at bedtime

In today's paper
Emily publicly comments to Toyland Express at its offices that Ducky is 'feeling better' and 'make sure everyone knows that'
Opinion: White Teddy on why he is actually enjoying all this cold weather

Ducky 'upset' and 'just a toy' slur

DUCKY MALLARD IS SAID TO BE 'SADDENED AND UPSET' at reports that Emily called him 'just a toy'. Jemima Puddleduck, Ducky's Smallvanian penpal, explained this state of affairs while anxiously waiting for his next letter.

'The comments were taken out of context,' said Winnie the Pooh, Mayor Boston. 'Emily didn't mean it like that at all. Now where's my honey, honey?' he added to Sapphire Teddy.

Even Kensington Palace had something to say. King Cheeky, resurrecting another of his old catchphrases for the second time this week, said 'Don't worry, Ducky. It happens to all toys eventually.'

Emily has declined to comment to The Toyland Express.

Ducky, Toyland's second most popular character, is four years old.

Breaking news: Pirates sail near Toyland shores

A PIRATE SHIP IS SAILING OFF THE SHORE OF BOSTON, it emerged last night. At the time of this report it is not known what type of pirates they are (Playmobil or Lego for example) or what their intentions are.


Artists impression of what the pirate ship might look like close up

'I say!' announced King Cheeky with an uncharacteristic return to his old catchphrase. 'I advise everyone to stay calm. We will fight off these pirates and make 'em walk the plank! Aarr!' His personal advisor was heard whispering to him that this wasn't a time for joking.

Historically pirates are prolific in Toylands across the world, being a favourite toy item of children everywhere, though usually boys. An abandoned and dilapidated Lego pirate ship was once exhibited in Smallvania from the loft two years ago, but other than that Toyland has no experience with pirates, who are known to steal, pillage and plunder. Security has been tightened around Princess Carly, a likely target for kidnap and extortionate ransom.

'Security has also been tightened around Snowski, my bunny rabbit!' said a fiery-haired Texan Jellycat to our reporter.


Pictured: A pirate who once plundered Emily's friend Emma's Toyland, sailing over from her brother Jonathan's Toyland.

The Mayor-elect Lucas Gabriel reassured Smallvanians that he was working with Mayor Puddleduck and would not give in to any of the pirates' demands.

'Hang on...' added a certain plump duck coming out of the Duckdale Academy at 3.15pm yesterday afternoon. 'Does Boston even HAVE a shore?'

Ducky is four years old.

In today's Express
Cheeky says Boston's sea is the corridor
Ducky practises for Dad's birthday tomorrow
Adriana Atwood: Why pirates may be just what Toyland needs

Seven historic days for Toyland

A WEEK IS A LONG TIME IN POLITICS and an even longer time in Toyland, where a series of storylines and a visit from Philip ensured there were always developments for the Express to cover. Here we view the week in summary:

Lucas Gabriel elected first Bratz Mayor
THE YOUNG L'IL BRATZ DOLL LUCAS GABRIEL was elected Mayor of Smallvania in a landslide a week ago today. Despite having only lived in Toyland since Emily's 9th birthday less than seven months ago, his smooth half-Italian half-American style soon won over admirers, his tanned skin and short black hair accompanying a relaxed personality, contrasting with his best friend Ryan Atwood's increasingly whiney temprament.


Toys across the world celebrated the Lucas victory over Puddleduck

In the past week the Mayor-elect, who will take office on January 20th 2009, announced a break with the policies of Sylvanian Mayor P. Puddleduck, now described as a 'lame duck' Mayor, which is a little cruel as his foot frequently has to be superglued back on.

Toys agree the election of a Bratz doll, who make up less than 10% of the Smallvanian population, and a half-Italian one at that, is a historic moment that will be remembered for centuries to come.

'Wawww its the most important thing The Toyland Express has ever covered!' said his supporter and housemate Ryan Atwood, before adding, 'except maybe that one about the guinea pigs arriving.'

Chris and Spurry Steakplace Starts Serving Breakfast
The equivalent seismic event in culinary terms this weekend was when Chris and Spurry started serving breakfast at their restaurant in downtown Smallvania, on the arrival of a Russian doll named Natalya and her quiet friend.

Old toy donated
Surprising attention was also paid to Oldsville/the Land of Old Toys this week as news spread that the toy dog who was as light as polystyrene had been sent in a shoebox to poor children for charity. Bramble, who was Marshmellow's best friend, was praised as 'doing the most noble thing a toy can do' by giving over her life to charity by King Cheeky.

Toyland not rocked by spooky goings on
Certain members of the American population were disappointed by the lack of any recognition of Hallowe'en this year on Friday 31st October.

'Emily didn't even do a pumpkin!! I did go trick or treating but people gave more candy to my little sister Kaitlin than me!! They musta thought I was just supervising her or something!' said Marissa Cooper, 20, who went "treat or tricking" as she called it, with her nine-year-old sister Kaitlin.

Express Archive: Spooky goings on in Toyland shock

Boston hosts firework display
The week of news was not a complete washout for Boston, the political capital of Toyland, and not were the fireworks a complete washout, despite heavy rain on the day. King Cheeky and the Mayor of Boston Winnie the Pooh orchestrated an outside display watched by hundreds on Sunshine Avenue.

'I particularly enjoyed it,' said Ducky, who insisted he stuck to bread so that he wouldn't 'have to go to Dr Sabrina in the morning'. Ducky is four years old.

TE

Lucas landslide predicted as Smallvania goes to the polls

VOTING OPENED ACROSS SMALLVANIA TODAY, with Smallvania school enjoying a day off as hundreds of Sylvanians, L'il Bratz and other generic small toys formed the largest voter turnout in a mayoral election in living history.

The vote is for the position of Mayor of Smallvania, the most powerful job after King Cheeky's. Candidates are Lucas Gabriel (a Mediterranean L'il Bratz doll), Barry Bramble (a Wolverhampton-born businessman and Sylvanian) and the current Mayor himself P. Puddleduck (Sylvanian).


Pictured: This action figure toy, named Barack, expressed his support for Lucas

'It's the most exciting election I've seen since JFK was elected Mayor of Smallvania in 1960,' said Jeff Badger, the 100-year old former Mayor.

'I'm so happy to be young and supporting Lucas!' said postman Ryan, who has changed his profile picture on Facebook to one as Lucas to show his support.

'I think it will be a close election and I'm voting Puddleduck,' said Mr Dalmation.

The Toyland Express editor will be staying up all night at a special election party as the results come in at the Bratz Bar from 10pm - 4am tonight, and tomorrow this paper will report on the winner.

TE

Elmo prank call

Mayoral campaign reaches final straight

Pictured: Barry Bramble on the campaign trail. Polls predict he will lose heavily

ACROSS TOYLAND TOYS HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR 'the most important election in a generation'. Just two days remain until the Smallvanian Mayoral election, when the most powerful man in Smallvania will be elected. Even though only Smallvanian residents can vote, the election has attracted Toyland-wide attention for the charismatic and unconventional candidates. The Toyland Express now provides you with your indispensable guide to the big night.


Pictured: The Puddleduck family, minus Jemima

Mayor P. Puddleduck
The incumbent mayor is seeking re-election for a third term. He has been tough on crime, and approved of King Cheeky firing Elmo as chief policeman. He was criticised last month, in a story covered by the Express, for installing Smallvania's first electric light in his own house. He was also criticised for his behaviour after a particularly bad spell of Hurricane Julie, when damage caused by the hoover included the destruction of both the juice stand and the Clothing Clothing shop.
Odds: 50:1


Pictured: The Bramble family: Jonathan, Barry, Liz and Emma

Barry B. Bramble
Controversially, local entrepreneur Barry Bramble is standing for mayor. Voters worry that having a man who already owns most of Smallvania as part of his company Bramble Enterprises, should not also have control of the Mayoral keys, the most powerful Toyish position after King Cheeky himself. He stands for major tax cuts for businesses and the end of environmental restrictions on businesses.
Odds: 100:1


Pictured: Lucas Gabriel, the favourite in this exciting race

Lucas Gabriel
Never before has a candidate for a Toyland election attracted as much attention as Lucas Gabriel. If elected, he would be the first ever Hispanic toy to hold a major position. He is also the first non-Sylvanian candidate to be taken seriously. He stands for a major break with the Puddleduck years.

'No-one even knows what the Mayor does. It's time to fix that. Thank you and God Bless Smallvania,' he ended one of his trademark excellent public speeches today on the steps to the dolls house. An adoring crowd looked on, beaming.

Gabriel lives in the Bratz house and is also remarkably young, seeking the title of Mayor at the age of just twenty-five. He shot to fame after Marissa Cooper produced an internet video on YouTube titled 'I Got a Crush on Lucas', which received over a million hits in under a week.

His supporters are keen not to be complacent though. Despite polls on average showing that 99% of Smallvanians support him, they continue to campaign tirelessly and inspiringly.
Odds 2:1

Full election coverage will be running at a special election party from 10pm - 4am on Tuesday night at the Bratz Bar and also the Chris & Spurry Steakplace.

TE