The long awaited sequel to this post, The Toyland Express presents Elmo's Bedtime Lullaby.
TE
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Mousegate scandal rocks Toyland
MRS MOUSE OF SMALLVANIA, employee of the Barry Bramble Department Store, was aghast to find a box of rat and mouse poison, pictured, on the passage motorway outside Emily's room this week.
Unverified reports suggest that the poison is for the loft, but toys are not so sure. Friends and co-workers close to Mrs Mouse says she is concerned that somebody in the house, probably from outside Emily's Toyland, had spotted her.
The Express managed to catch a concerned Mrs Mouse apprehensively smelling a mince pie at her house this lunchtime, who said, 'Whether or not they didn't think I was a squeaking toy, I think this is crazy! I'm standing up for mice rights everywhere.'
Elsewhere, one Bratz doll said the furore was making a mountain out of a molehill. 'It's mice's rights gone mad!' commented Natalie Star.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Toys of Christmas present
The Toyland Express today, as promised, asked three readers what they are wishing for this Christmas from Father Christmas.
Marissa Cooper
Marissa Cooper, 20, a student of colouring-in at the University of Sunnydale, said, 'I want some dresses, maybe a bag, maybe a new Jellycat friend - probably an animal - some chocolate dirums, a satsuma, some ski boots, a pink iPod nano...' and continued to talk until utterly out of breath.
In Smallvania, the next Mayor, Lucas Gabriel, was also doing a bit of shopping. He was spotted buying some wrapping paper at an 'Everything Must Go' sale at a closing down Playmobil chain store.
'This Christmas I'd like to see world peace, economic stability, healthcare for all toys and better education,' he said in his likeable accent. When asked for something that would fit into a stocking, he added 'And maybe some new sneakers. Y'know, to shoot some hoops in.'
Mayor-elect Lucas Gabriel, with his Secretary for Christmas Affairs Santa Claus
Finally, the Express spoke with Kensington Palace itself, asking the king what he would like to see underneath his royal tree come December 25th. 'Well I'd like a spot trimmer, for my spots; some new pawprint pyjamas; a bathroom robe - get it?!; and some chocolate dirums.'
Glancing at our reporter's notebook, he added that he'd like to world peace also.
His Royal Highness King Cheeky
TE
Marissa Cooper
Marissa Cooper, 20, a student of colouring-in at the University of Sunnydale, said, 'I want some dresses, maybe a bag, maybe a new Jellycat friend - probably an animal - some chocolate dirums, a satsuma, some ski boots, a pink iPod nano...' and continued to talk until utterly out of breath.
In Smallvania, the next Mayor, Lucas Gabriel, was also doing a bit of shopping. He was spotted buying some wrapping paper at an 'Everything Must Go' sale at a closing down Playmobil chain store.
'This Christmas I'd like to see world peace, economic stability, healthcare for all toys and better education,' he said in his likeable accent. When asked for something that would fit into a stocking, he added 'And maybe some new sneakers. Y'know, to shoot some hoops in.'
Mayor-elect Lucas Gabriel, with his Secretary for Christmas Affairs Santa Claus
Finally, the Express spoke with Kensington Palace itself, asking the king what he would like to see underneath his royal tree come December 25th. 'Well I'd like a spot trimmer, for my spots; some new pawprint pyjamas; a bathroom robe - get it?!; and some chocolate dirums.'
Glancing at our reporter's notebook, he added that he'd like to world peace also.
His Royal Highness King Cheeky
TE
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Toys of Christmas past
The Toyland Express has been remembering the many significant characters who first peeped their heads out of Emily's stocking on past Christmasses.
In what will be five years ago this December 25th, probably the most prominent character of all time Marissa Cooper bounded into Toyland. Though ignored for her first few months and then merely called 'Loud American Dolly', she is now personal adviser to the King and a larger-than-lifesize poster of her adourns the walls of Boston. A year later, in 2004, what would later become her trademark car arrived.
2004: Barbie car
Not all Christmas characters are successful. In 2004, with no new Jellycats, photographic records show that a certain polystyrened-headed troublemaker Eleanor arrived, who is now missing presumed broken.
2004: Eleanor
After the success of Marissa, who at that time hung around mostly with Princess Carly Spots and a plastic McDonald's snail, pressure grew for Father Christmas to bring her a Jellycat friend, and so came Sabrina, now Toyland's Hogwarts-graduate magical doctor.
2005: Sabrina Spellman
The following year, and after the creation of The Toyland Express, came a Build-a-Bear koala bear, perhaps in honour of Grace (of Grace's Toyland) going away for a year. He went on to become Prime Minister Nizz of the Land of Old Toys, which declared independence from Toyland as 'Oldsville'.
2006: Prime Minister Nizz
Also in 2006 came the fiery haired Texan Claire McKuchen, a Jellycat willing to give Marissa a run for her money in original voice terms and also loudness. Often referred to as the most glamorous of the Jellycat Bunch, Claire fits in well as Marissa's best friend. She now works as the tour guide to Kensington Palace and has a pet rabbit called Snowski.
2006: Claire McKuchen
Which brings us up to last year, in this brief look at just a few of the toys of the last few Christmasses. Phoebe Nightingale became the fourth and final twelve inch Jellycat, and became known for her different hair texture and tendency to fall asleep whenever possible.
2007: Phoebe Nightingale
In the NEXT Toyland Express
Toys of Christmas present: We ask three important characters what they are hoping to find in their stockings this year
In what will be five years ago this December 25th, probably the most prominent character of all time Marissa Cooper bounded into Toyland. Though ignored for her first few months and then merely called 'Loud American Dolly', she is now personal adviser to the King and a larger-than-lifesize poster of her adourns the walls of Boston. A year later, in 2004, what would later become her trademark car arrived.
2004: Barbie car
Not all Christmas characters are successful. In 2004, with no new Jellycats, photographic records show that a certain polystyrened-headed troublemaker Eleanor arrived, who is now missing presumed broken.
2004: Eleanor
After the success of Marissa, who at that time hung around mostly with Princess Carly Spots and a plastic McDonald's snail, pressure grew for Father Christmas to bring her a Jellycat friend, and so came Sabrina, now Toyland's Hogwarts-graduate magical doctor.
2005: Sabrina Spellman
The following year, and after the creation of The Toyland Express, came a Build-a-Bear koala bear, perhaps in honour of Grace (of Grace's Toyland) going away for a year. He went on to become Prime Minister Nizz of the Land of Old Toys, which declared independence from Toyland as 'Oldsville'.
2006: Prime Minister Nizz
Also in 2006 came the fiery haired Texan Claire McKuchen, a Jellycat willing to give Marissa a run for her money in original voice terms and also loudness. Often referred to as the most glamorous of the Jellycat Bunch, Claire fits in well as Marissa's best friend. She now works as the tour guide to Kensington Palace and has a pet rabbit called Snowski.
2006: Claire McKuchen
Which brings us up to last year, in this brief look at just a few of the toys of the last few Christmasses. Phoebe Nightingale became the fourth and final twelve inch Jellycat, and became known for her different hair texture and tendency to fall asleep whenever possible.
2007: Phoebe Nightingale
In the NEXT Toyland Express
Toys of Christmas present: We ask three important characters what they are hoping to find in their stockings this year
Sunday, December 07, 2008
Bramble Cafe hygeine scandal
THE BARRY BRAMBLE DEPARTMENT STORE CAFÉ in Smallvania has had its poor food hygeine standards exposed by the Toyland Express. These exclusive photographs, taken today, clearly show a dead moth sat in the middle of the floor in the café, just inches away from where regulars Jeff and Mabel Badger sit.
The offending article, five minutes ago
The Express has informed the Toyland Inspector, whose job it is to inspect health and safety across Boston and Smallvania and close places down where he thinks necessary.
Barry Bramble, the owner of the café, said 'This was a rare lapse of tidiness in the café, the offending moth falling from the ceiling and the photographs taken before our staff could clean it up. The moth was far away from all food preparation areas and nobody should be alarmed. I would be happy to buy the Toyland Inspector's lunch over a discussion of the event.'
A toy's eye view: a covert image taken on a customer's iPhone
Bramble, tipped to be seeking a position on TV's 'Dragon's Den' to restore his ailing fortunes after being forced to make severe cutbacks in his business, is said to be privately worried that this latest incident will make customers flock to his nearby rival, the Chris and Spurry Steakplace, which has recently started serving breakfast.
In other news
Photos added to Christmas lights switch on (TE 25th November 2008) article
The offending article, five minutes ago
The Express has informed the Toyland Inspector, whose job it is to inspect health and safety across Boston and Smallvania and close places down where he thinks necessary.
Barry Bramble, the owner of the café, said 'This was a rare lapse of tidiness in the café, the offending moth falling from the ceiling and the photographs taken before our staff could clean it up. The moth was far away from all food preparation areas and nobody should be alarmed. I would be happy to buy the Toyland Inspector's lunch over a discussion of the event.'
A toy's eye view: a covert image taken on a customer's iPhone
Bramble, tipped to be seeking a position on TV's 'Dragon's Den' to restore his ailing fortunes after being forced to make severe cutbacks in his business, is said to be privately worried that this latest incident will make customers flock to his nearby rival, the Chris and Spurry Steakplace, which has recently started serving breakfast.
In other news
Photos added to Christmas lights switch on (TE 25th November 2008) article
Friday, December 05, 2008
Toys unemployed reaches 9 year high
UNEMPLOYMENT IN TOYLAND HAS REACHED the highest level since Emily was born. The number of adult toys without specific jobs in Toyland is estimated to be around 60%.
A toy only needs to walk past several families of Sylvanians to wonder what they actually do - such as the Dalmation family, and toys such as the Bratz doll Zara.
'She just sits on the sq***king toilet all day!' observed Mrs Mouse, who operates the till at the Bramble toyshop.
In Boston the situation isn't much better, with toys such as Phoebe Nightingale out of work. In Smallvania unemployment will only go up when Mayor Puddleduck loses his job.
'Woah this article is horrible!' commented Marissa Cooper, a full-time student at the University of Sunnydale who also works as personal adviser to King Cheeky. 'Don't name names, especially not Pheebs that's mean!'
The news isn't really so surprising considering the number of toys only goes up whilst there is still only a small amount of shops and occupations that toys can take.
'Everyone seems to cope perfectly well just sitting on their woolen bottoms all day!' said King Cheeky happily.
Mayor-elect Lucas Gabriel said he planned to give as many jobs to Smallvanians who wanted them as possible, after appointing Santa Claus Secretary for Christmas Affairs yesterday.
In other news
Philip back in Toyland tomorrow - Boston and Smallvania excited
TE
A toy only needs to walk past several families of Sylvanians to wonder what they actually do - such as the Dalmation family, and toys such as the Bratz doll Zara.
'She just sits on the sq***king toilet all day!' observed Mrs Mouse, who operates the till at the Bramble toyshop.
In Boston the situation isn't much better, with toys such as Phoebe Nightingale out of work. In Smallvania unemployment will only go up when Mayor Puddleduck loses his job.
'Woah this article is horrible!' commented Marissa Cooper, a full-time student at the University of Sunnydale who also works as personal adviser to King Cheeky. 'Don't name names, especially not Pheebs that's mean!'
The news isn't really so surprising considering the number of toys only goes up whilst there is still only a small amount of shops and occupations that toys can take.
'Everyone seems to cope perfectly well just sitting on their woolen bottoms all day!' said King Cheeky happily.
Mayor-elect Lucas Gabriel said he planned to give as many jobs to Smallvanians who wanted them as possible, after appointing Santa Claus Secretary for Christmas Affairs yesterday.
In other news
Philip back in Toyland tomorrow - Boston and Smallvania excited
TE
Thursday, December 04, 2008
Lounge Christmas tree to be decorated Sunday, officials say
THE CHRISTMAS TREE IN THE LOUNGE will be put up on Sunday at around 3pm, according to official reports.
Smallvanian Mayor-elect Lucas Gabriel announced his appointment of a Secretary for Christmas Affairs today, choosing a wooden dolls house Santa known affectionately as 'Little Saint Nick'.
Gabriel said, on the steps of the dolls house, 'After hearing reports that the Christmas tree is to go up in a few days, my Mayoral team will be making some key decisions, and I think Santa Claus has the long-term knowledge and experience of the holiday season to make this year the best Christmas for Smallvanians.'
Mayor P. Puddleduck seemed disgruntled that everyone seems to have forgotten that he is actually still the Mayor and will remain so until January 20th.
The Santa Claus toy then arrived on his sleigh, driven by reindeer and jingling with bells.
'Ho ho ho! Yes The Christmas Tree will go up on Sunday and I hope as many Smallvanians as possible will visit!' he said to excited Sunnydale Infants children, before handing out small token presents from the local Barry Bramble Department Store discount shelf.
Traditionally toys visit the Christmas tree every year and enjoy playing on the branches between the lights, and climbing up to heights as high as 5'6. It is also a time of seeing seasonal toys such as the Granny Dryden from Postman Pat tree decoration.
The more rotund members of Toyland may be anticipating the chocolate tree decorations. 'Wawww chocolate decorations?! I'm there!' said HRH Prince Simba, speeding off before being stopped by his sensible sister Carly, who said he'd have to wait a few days.
Polly Pocket airlines are offering special reduced fares until midnight for flights down to the lounge.
TE
In other news
Emily feeling better after wintery bug
'Wintery bug' not literally a bug, Boston reassured
Prime Minister Nizz of the Land of Old Toys says Christmas isn't so great for old toys, who are cast aside to make way for visiting Granny and Granda
Smallvanian Mayor-elect Lucas Gabriel announced his appointment of a Secretary for Christmas Affairs today, choosing a wooden dolls house Santa known affectionately as 'Little Saint Nick'.
Gabriel said, on the steps of the dolls house, 'After hearing reports that the Christmas tree is to go up in a few days, my Mayoral team will be making some key decisions, and I think Santa Claus has the long-term knowledge and experience of the holiday season to make this year the best Christmas for Smallvanians.'
Mayor P. Puddleduck seemed disgruntled that everyone seems to have forgotten that he is actually still the Mayor and will remain so until January 20th.
The Santa Claus toy then arrived on his sleigh, driven by reindeer and jingling with bells.
'Ho ho ho! Yes The Christmas Tree will go up on Sunday and I hope as many Smallvanians as possible will visit!' he said to excited Sunnydale Infants children, before handing out small token presents from the local Barry Bramble Department Store discount shelf.
Traditionally toys visit the Christmas tree every year and enjoy playing on the branches between the lights, and climbing up to heights as high as 5'6. It is also a time of seeing seasonal toys such as the Granny Dryden from Postman Pat tree decoration.
The more rotund members of Toyland may be anticipating the chocolate tree decorations. 'Wawww chocolate decorations?! I'm there!' said HRH Prince Simba, speeding off before being stopped by his sensible sister Carly, who said he'd have to wait a few days.
Polly Pocket airlines are offering special reduced fares until midnight for flights down to the lounge.
TE
In other news
Emily feeling better after wintery bug
'Wintery bug' not literally a bug, Boston reassured
Prime Minister Nizz of the Land of Old Toys says Christmas isn't so great for old toys, who are cast aside to make way for visiting Granny and Granda
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