UNEMPLOYMENT IN TOYLAND HAS REACHED the highest level since Emily was born. The number of adult toys without specific jobs in Toyland is estimated to be around 60%.
A toy only needs to walk past several families of Sylvanians to wonder what they actually do - such as the Dalmation family, and toys such as the Bratz doll Zara.
'She just sits on the sq***king toilet all day!' observed Mrs Mouse, who operates the till at the Bramble toyshop.
In Boston the situation isn't much better, with toys such as Phoebe Nightingale out of work. In Smallvania unemployment will only go up when Mayor Puddleduck loses his job.
'Woah this article is horrible!' commented Marissa Cooper, a full-time student at the University of Sunnydale who also works as personal adviser to King Cheeky. 'Don't name names, especially not Pheebs that's mean!'
The news isn't really so surprising considering the number of toys only goes up whilst there is still only a small amount of shops and occupations that toys can take.
'Everyone seems to cope perfectly well just sitting on their woolen bottoms all day!' said King Cheeky happily.
Mayor-elect Lucas Gabriel said he planned to give as many jobs to Smallvanians who wanted them as possible, after appointing Santa Claus Secretary for Christmas Affairs yesterday.
In other news
Philip back in Toyland tomorrow - Boston and Smallvania excited
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