SEVEN TOYS HAVE BEEN CHOSEN TO STAR IN A NEW SERIES OF 'RAVEN', the fantasy game show based on the hit Children's BBC version.
'Eu, it's called CBBC now, not Children's BBC. It's not 1996 anymore,' commented the host, Chris Steakface, who will be playing Raven. He did not comment whether he would be attempting a Scottish accent to impersonate the original, or soldier through with his distinctive South African tones.
'People find my accent hard to understand sometimes, but that will be the least difficult thing on the programme. Contestants will face a variety of gruelling challenges, like swinging through the forest ON SNAKES above a pit of SHARP KNITTING NEEDLES with a GIGANTIC DOG CHASING THEM.' said Steakface, aged 42.
The contestants have been named as Ducky Mallard, Marissa Cooper, Liz Bramble, Ryan Atwood, Simba Spots and White Teddy. They will start a quest of a variety of challenges with one player being eliminated each week.
Ducky is only four years old (but nearly five).
Commented the new Raven, 'Let the challenge........... begin!'
In other news
Sunnydale Infants stripped of 'Schools Challenge' trophy after it emerges one of the contestants was 99 year old Jeff Badger in disguise
