Local postman to stay in bed

ONE PERSON'S WEEKEND WILL BE MORE than just an hour longer this weekend. Local postman Ryan Atwood has announced that he will be following through with his threat to strike today. The move has caused some political discord in the town hall.

'Waww! My demands for higher pay and a new post bag have not been met!' said Atwood, normally a beloved character of Smallvania.

'I think its just shocking. How are toys supposed to get their mail?' vented Graham Greybear.

Former Mayor of Smallvania P.Puddleduck said current Mayor Lucas should have 'seen this coming.' He told the Express, 'If you look at Smallvania Square today you can see vast inequalities - the giant Barry Bramble Department Store is juxtapposed to piles of homeless Sylvanians. All these things are dwarfed by the Georgian mansion dolls house.'

Puddleduck appeared not to notice this is exactly how it was when he was Mayor. Current Mayor Lucas responded that while Smallvania had its issues, 'the community Smallvania Square is repaired in part, I suppose, by the Sylvanian stables and library. And every year all the toys gather round to watch Emily switch on the Christmas lights. We should be celebrating the fact that we live in a traditional English toy town.'

Nazzy Star, the postman's wife, commented, 'I think Ryan just wants an extra day in bed. Typical lazy boy!'

Cat burglar strikes again

Pictured: Police photofit

SUNSHINE AVENUE, SMALLVANIA was rocked last night by a spurt of high-profile burglaries. Police are investigating paw prints found at the scenes of the crimes, where several possessions were stolen as toys slept.

The Meow family have been particularly affected by the news. Monsieur Meow, who works at the Bramble Department Store cafe, said he could tell people now viewed him 'with suspicion' just because he is a 'cat'.

'I don't see why the fact I'm a different species makes me more likely to commit a crime. Why do they call the culprit the cat burglar anyway? I find that phrase offensive to cats!'

Allegations of racism aside, all residents of Toyland have been alarmed by the recent news and the fact that the police have yet to make any arrests. Former policeman Elmo said he wondered whether the cat burglar had 'good reason'.

Local freelance illustrator and Lady High Personal Advisor* to the King, Marissa Cooper, 21, said 'I'm worried our house is gonna be burglarised! I'm concerned about potential burglarisations!'

Anyone with any information about the burglaries should contact the police immediately.

*Unconfirmed title.

TE

Inside today's print edition
Ex-convict Sam the Squirrel on where he used to bury his loot in the winter

Phoebe Nightingale enjoys wearing pyjamas all day at local spa

Guinea Pigs go to vet: follow breaking news coverage live at toylandexpress.blogspot.com with real-time analysis and commentary as it happens