BUY
Toyland School of Music Plc 200p per share
Sales of clarinets and keyboards enjoying sudden boost. Big concert coming up, ticket sales still returning high profits. Buy.
Apprender Lengua Inc 7222p per share
Company producing Spanish language podcasts, notebooks etc. Every member of Emily's family to visit Spain in next few months. Toys likely to go too. Expect high return on investment. Buy.
SELL
Bramble Enterprises Plc 109p per share
Hours of play spent at Smallvanian Department Store fell 500% in the last month. Dust caking most of toy shop. Dead moth still in cafe. Sell.
Chilli's R Us Plc 6p per share
Expected growth targets of chilli plants downstairs not met. Traders question whether anything will grow. Sell.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Schoolgirl stays up
KAITLIN COOPER, aged ten, stayed up until the latest time ever last night after being sent to bed at her regular time.
The Sunnydale Juniors pupil fell asleep at 11.57pm, after being officially sent to bed 'sometime between eight-thirty and nine.'
Not tired
Cooper is believed to have spent most of the time reading cult children's novel Harry Potter, for the 47th time, and playing her Nintendo DS. Her housemates said she was also heard 'messing about', known to mean going to the bathroom after-hours.
Fellow school pupil Chico Gonzales commented: 'I am shocked she came just three minutes to staying up past midnight. Then it would actually be the morning again. Who knows what would have happened then?'
Exemplary: Gonzales
Cooper faced the consequences of her irresponsible reading this morning, when she confessed she 'struggled to get out of bed', waking up with 'utter disbelief' that it was time to get up and go to school once again.
Despite this, she is expected to stay up late again tonight.
'I just really wanna finish this chapter,' she told an Express reporter. 'Ssshh! Wait is that somebody coming up the stairs?' she added in a quick whisper, before suddenly switching of her bedside lamp.
The Sunnydale Juniors pupil fell asleep at 11.57pm, after being officially sent to bed 'sometime between eight-thirty and nine.'
Not tired
Cooper is believed to have spent most of the time reading cult children's novel Harry Potter, for the 47th time, and playing her Nintendo DS. Her housemates said she was also heard 'messing about', known to mean going to the bathroom after-hours.
Fellow school pupil Chico Gonzales commented: 'I am shocked she came just three minutes to staying up past midnight. Then it would actually be the morning again. Who knows what would have happened then?'
Exemplary: Gonzales
Cooper faced the consequences of her irresponsible reading this morning, when she confessed she 'struggled to get out of bed', waking up with 'utter disbelief' that it was time to get up and go to school once again.
Despite this, she is expected to stay up late again tonight.
'I just really wanna finish this chapter,' she told an Express reporter. 'Ssshh! Wait is that somebody coming up the stairs?' she added in a quick whisper, before suddenly switching of her bedside lamp.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
From the archive: Superstore plan outrages residents
First published in The Toyland Express March 11th, 2004.
RESIDENTS OF TOYTOWN ARE CAMPAIGNING against a proposed department store development which promises to 'rejuvenate' an untidy and underpopulated area of the village.
Local start-up businessman Finbar 'Barry' Bramble, 35, has applied for permission from King Cheeky to erect a massive four-storey department store, containing a cafe, toyshop, clothes shop and hair salon. He claims it will bring much needed investment in the corner of Toyland, currently occupied by the plastic Dressing Table, whose batteries for its lights have been flat for some years now.
While local residents have continually maligned the Dressing Table as a 'blight', 'ruin', and 'ghost of a version of Emily passed', opposition to the proposed development has been heated and, at times, vitriolic.
Citizens of Toytown currently confine themselves to a row of Lego and Sylvanian shops and houses opposite the dolls house, which adjoins the controversial Dressing Table area. Lately, rubbish has begun to be dumped around the Dressing Table chair - crumpled up colouring-in pages and felt tips that have long run out provide eyesores that make Toytown a source of embarassment for Toyland on the international stage.
However, while the toys clearly want something to restore the area, it is clear from the discussions of huddled-together local pressure groups gathered at the foot of the bed at Sunshine Avenue/Toytown Way that the Bramble 'behemoth' (as one resident branded it) is not what they had in mind.
'The development is simply too big. It will destroy the character of the village and run local businesses into ruin. We are not opposed to Bramble's development in principle, just in scale,' said Graham Greybear, holding an impressive placard.
King Cheeky will announce whether the four-storey proposal will go ahead next week.
RESIDENTS OF TOYTOWN ARE CAMPAIGNING against a proposed department store development which promises to 'rejuvenate' an untidy and underpopulated area of the village.
Local start-up businessman Finbar 'Barry' Bramble, 35, has applied for permission from King Cheeky to erect a massive four-storey department store, containing a cafe, toyshop, clothes shop and hair salon. He claims it will bring much needed investment in the corner of Toyland, currently occupied by the plastic Dressing Table, whose batteries for its lights have been flat for some years now.
While local residents have continually maligned the Dressing Table as a 'blight', 'ruin', and 'ghost of a version of Emily passed', opposition to the proposed development has been heated and, at times, vitriolic.
Citizens of Toytown currently confine themselves to a row of Lego and Sylvanian shops and houses opposite the dolls house, which adjoins the controversial Dressing Table area. Lately, rubbish has begun to be dumped around the Dressing Table chair - crumpled up colouring-in pages and felt tips that have long run out provide eyesores that make Toytown a source of embarassment for Toyland on the international stage.
However, while the toys clearly want something to restore the area, it is clear from the discussions of huddled-together local pressure groups gathered at the foot of the bed at Sunshine Avenue/Toytown Way that the Bramble 'behemoth' (as one resident branded it) is not what they had in mind.
'The development is simply too big. It will destroy the character of the village and run local businesses into ruin. We are not opposed to Bramble's development in principle, just in scale,' said Graham Greybear, holding an impressive placard.
King Cheeky will announce whether the four-storey proposal will go ahead next week.
Was Lucas' first year a failure?
When Mayor Lucas Gabriel was sworn into office in January 2009, toys rejoiced the election of Smallvania's first non-Sylvanian Mayor. That the Bratz, a minority in Toyland, could provide a popular mainstream leader, ushered in a new age of relative optimism. Over a year on, and Lucas faces opposition from the 'tea party' movement, and even reportedly sleeps on the sofa in the dolls house because 'there aren't enough beds'.
Former Mayor, P.Puddleduck, has led the anti-Lucas 'tea party' movement, where toys sit in the Bramble Cafe drinking tea and moaning about how they don't like the current Mayor.
Pictured: Lucas came to power after a slick and inspiring campaign.
'I mean, what has Mayor Lucas actually done?' asked Puddleduck at a tea party last Thursday, to cheers from mostly Sylvanian supporters. 'Toyland today looks exactly the same as it did a year ago... If not worse!'
Lucas supporters contend that the Mayor has made significant progress, pointing to the Bramble toy shop and cafe being switched over, and the entire of Smallvania being quickly rebuilt, from dolls house living room to juice stand, after a particularly bad Hurricane Julie last month.
Lucas still has nearly three years left in his job, so whether the handsome plastic toy can bring meaningful change to Smallvania really remains to be seen.
Former Mayor, P.Puddleduck, has led the anti-Lucas 'tea party' movement, where toys sit in the Bramble Cafe drinking tea and moaning about how they don't like the current Mayor.
Pictured: Lucas came to power after a slick and inspiring campaign.
'I mean, what has Mayor Lucas actually done?' asked Puddleduck at a tea party last Thursday, to cheers from mostly Sylvanian supporters. 'Toyland today looks exactly the same as it did a year ago... If not worse!'
Lucas supporters contend that the Mayor has made significant progress, pointing to the Bramble toy shop and cafe being switched over, and the entire of Smallvania being quickly rebuilt, from dolls house living room to juice stand, after a particularly bad Hurricane Julie last month.
Lucas still has nearly three years left in his job, so whether the handsome plastic toy can bring meaningful change to Smallvania really remains to be seen.
Have your say: "Norovirus"
Toys celebrated Emily coming home from school three times last week, brightening up the otherwise dull weekday daytime period when toys traditionally are not played with. What do you think?
Cheeky Spots, King: 'I think its marvellous that Emily is spending more time with us and with Dr Sabrina's help she'll be right as rain in no time.'
Ducky Mallard, schoolduck: 'All of us here are the Duckdale Academy wish Emily a speedy recovery!'
Claire McKuchen, Catchphrase Generator: 'Don't sit next to me! It's contagious!'
Cheeky Spots, King: 'I think its marvellous that Emily is spending more time with us and with Dr Sabrina's help she'll be right as rain in no time.'
Ducky Mallard, schoolduck: 'All of us here are the Duckdale Academy wish Emily a speedy recovery!'
Claire McKuchen, Catchphrase Generator: 'Don't sit next to me! It's contagious!'
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