Fluffy rug does little to impress residents of 'messy' Toyland

RESIDENTS OF TOYLAND were unconvinced this week by attempts by Emily to make up for the growing state of disrepair in Boston and Smallvania.

Unveiling a new rug, King Cheeky, with personal adviser Marissa Cooper by his side, said it was a 'sign of brilliant new things to come. Rah rah rah!'

Perhaps, said commentators in fringe Smallvanian rag 'the Smallvanian Flute': 'King Cheeky needs to open his eyes to the graffiti up the walls and the filthy sky above Sunshine Avenue'.


Pictured: the sky above Sunshine Avenue


Pictured: Graffiti above Shelf Close

The King has been disappointed after the volunteers he recruited to repaint the sky failed to do anything other than stay stuck to the bed drinking increasing amounts of tea.

Some Bostonians remain optimistic that the fluffy new rug is the first in a series of measures for Toyland and Boston in particular to be renovated in time for the 2012 Olympics.

'It may be a building site now, but it'll be worth it in the end. By the way, all the Toyland trains and buses will be closed for essential maintenance works this weekend,' added King Cheeky.

'It is a very fluffy rug! I personally am excited by its fluffy whiteness,' said White Teddy.

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The Only Way is Smallvania launched

Telly addicts such as Spurry Steakface will be pleased to hear the announcement of a new series, titled 'The Only Way is Smallvania'.

The show, following a reality TV format, films the day to day lives of X young, glamorous and single Smallvania residents: Mazzy Star, Adriana Atwood, Zara, Spurry's sister, Mayor Lucas and Elmo.

The producers of the show insist that all on screen conversations are real, and not scripted. In the first episode, viewers will be treated to a tense scene where Adriana threatens to move out, and a light-hearted scene where the young characters have a bubble bath foam party.

There are also rumours of a romantic storyline in the show, between Zara and Elmo.

'No there are not!' commented both characters to our reporter, suspiciously simultaneously.

The show will compete for audiences with rival reality programme 'Made in Boston', which follows the lives of young characters in the most desirable part of Toyland. That show follows HRH Prince Simba and his sister Princess Carly; Jellycat dolls Kaitlin, Stella, Chico, Luke and Lizzie; and Bear Factory residents of the expensive bed district, Ducky, Rachel and Mitzi.

It remains to be seen which show viewers will prefer.

'I think we might be stuffed!' joked Ducky, to roaring laughter and clinking champagne glasses.

Ducky is 7 years old.

TE

Jimothy brings Catalina apple

Local schoolbear Jimothy Bandersnatch, 12, shocked fellow Sunnydale pupils this morning by bringing his teacher an apple.'I normally eat my apples at break time in little slices from a ziplock bag, and I always think Miss Gonzales would like some,' said Jimothy, explaining his decision to bemused classmates. 'All this talk of Apple over the weekend gave me the idea.'Also speaking at breaktime, Mitzi Bumpkin questioned: 'Is this really newsworthy?'

Mitzi second drawing

'White on White' by Mitzi B Bumpkin, 2011

Mitzi wows art class with her sketches

Local schoolgirl Mitzi Bumpkin impressed her classmates today when she unveiled two sketches as part of her theme 'Bears'. Mitzi is 11 years old.