CLAIRE MCKUCHEN, owner of Toyland's most profitable alternative remedies and holistic therapy retailer Claire's Herbal Remedies, is expected to spend significant amounts on Emily's last baby tooth tonight.
Market experts have speculated that the tooth will be up for sale under Emily's pillow "anywhere from 8pm Boston time."
McKuchen, a fiery haired Jellycat doll from Texas, is known to attribute significant healing powers to assets such as Emily's teeth, tears and, less palatably, "sneeze droplets".
"But a tooth is the prize possession of them all. There will only ever be a limited amount. Have one in your house and it will guarantee a long, healthy and happy life as a toy," said Claire in a syndicated publicity interview last year.
"There is absolutely no evidence for this nonsense," said Dr Sabrina Spellman, Claire's housemate and Toyland's only registered practictioner of what Claire terms "chemical-based Western medicine."
The price of Emily's baby teeth has gradually risen over the years as the supply has reduced.
"It's simple economics. Supply and demand. I'm already booking a round the world flight!" said the Tooth Fairy, who acts as broker in the sale of the teeth as they become available. Taking a cut from the amount raised, she leaves the rest under Emily's pillow.
Amounts left by the Tooth Fairy have risen from around 50 pence (about half a Toyish dirum) to as much as £2 (about 2 dirums).
TE
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Monday, March 05, 2012
It will be a Whitey wedding for Marissa
PERSONAL ADVISER TO THE KING AND LOCAL ALL-AMERICAN Marissa Cooper and long-time on/off bearfriend White Teddy have announced their engagement. The wedding is planned for the end of this month, on the 31st March.
"He proposed on a ski lift (thanks Ducky) at 2500 meters, before we did a black run," explained Marissa, 23. "Oh and it was a Tuesday."
"It was Valentine's Day," added Whitey, "and I had my best bowtie on. I'm not sure what I was more scared of: the black run, the 65 degree button lift or the proposal!"
The couple have dated for some years, on and off, with their longest break over 2010. Marissa has previously been linked with Hershey Bear and Dr Floxy [correction: Dr Flixy].
"I never dated Flixy. That was just a tabloid wheeze," Marissa commented to our reporter.
Kaitlin, Marissa's "smarter, more popular sister" (in her own words) is expected to take a lead role, as is the Cooper family dog, Peanut.
The Toyland Express will be covering the wedding of the Toyish century in full detail, with souvenir china available on request.
"This isn't the end of the storylines. It's the beginning," added the soft-hearted pair.
Pictured: Marissa and Whitey today.
"He proposed on a ski lift (thanks Ducky) at 2500 meters, before we did a black run," explained Marissa, 23. "Oh and it was a Tuesday."
"It was Valentine's Day," added Whitey, "and I had my best bowtie on. I'm not sure what I was more scared of: the black run, the 65 degree button lift or the proposal!"
The couple have dated for some years, on and off, with their longest break over 2010. Marissa has previously been linked with Hershey Bear and Dr Floxy [correction: Dr Flixy].
"I never dated Flixy. That was just a tabloid wheeze," Marissa commented to our reporter.
Kaitlin, Marissa's "smarter, more popular sister" (in her own words) is expected to take a lead role, as is the Cooper family dog, Peanut.
The Toyland Express will be covering the wedding of the Toyish century in full detail, with souvenir china available on request.
"This isn't the end of the storylines. It's the beginning," added the soft-hearted pair.
Pictured: Marissa and Whitey today.
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